If I ain't smart enough to say I'm sorry, it's just because the words got in the way

I'm beginning to think that it wasn't such a good idea to have 7 cups of coffee after 10 p.m. It's now 3:04 a.m. and I can't sleep. There are so many thoughts in my head, and I'm just not tired.

Luckily, Family Guy is on, and I think it's an episode that I haven't seen. Though now that it's been on for longer than 30 seconds, I do believe that I've seen it. Which means, of course, that there's nothing good on television. Yep, I've seen it.

Moving on.

I'm proud of myself because I buckled down and did homework tonight. I even read the chapter that correlates with tomorrow's lecture! This not having to work thing is really agreeing with me, I think. Too bad I can't sleep. I made a joke about pulling an all-nighter. I didn't really think that's what I would be doing.

I turned the television off and turned on some music. Maybe getting some of my thoughts out will help me sleep. Of course, that is dependent on my thought staying in my brain long enough to type it out. Caffeine really does wonders if you don't get it that often. Normally I drink orange juice and water. Occasionally I have sweet tea, or hot tea once in a while. But more often than not it's water and orange juice. I don't really drink soda that often, and I can't remember the last time I had a real cup of coffee before tonight. So you can imagine what 7 cups in a 2 hour span can do to me.

So I'm supposed to register for next semester's classes on Thursday. Except, I'm thinking about switching my major to criminology so I need to meet with the criminology advisor and I can't do that until Monday. Which means I won't be able to register until then.

I imagine coffee is a lot like alcohol. If you drink it on an empty stomach, the effects are worse. Apparently I didn't eat enough.

Friday I'm going to see Sanctus Real and I'm stoked! They're pretty much my new favorite band, and it's only gonna be like 14 bucks. Super excited!

So I did a crazy thing this weekend. (actually, I did a couple) I told Chris that it wasn't like it was before. I know you're confused. Bear with me. He had a four day pass this weekend and he was in town (or nearby.) Now to understand this story, you have to understand that before he left the army we were kind of friends with benefits. He claimed he was "getting to know me" and in no place to be in a relationship. At that point I was just looking for attention and he happened to be giving it to me. Plus, I was attracted to him. I (and in no way am I proud of this) used to go over to his apartment at 3 a.m. and he would put in a Family Guy dvd and we would pretty much make out. So anyway, he was in town this weekend. Well he said that he wanted to see me. He planned on stopping by on his way to his dad's house on Saturday night. He basically told me that he only had an hour to spend with me, and you can pretty much guess how he wanted to spend it. I told him that we couldn't hang out in my room, and that I just wanted to hang out with him. Well all of a sudden it was "later than he thought" and couldn't we just hang out on Sunday? So I agreed, saying that we could go to lunch or something. Well, the only time he could hang out with me on Sunday was at night (of course) and on the way from his dad's house back to his mom's (or possibly GA I don't know.) I don't really remember how it came up, but I told him that we weren't going to spend any time making out, and that I was no longer interested in him. Shocking how that little revelation all of a sudden changed everything and no longer was he going to have time to "stop by" for an hour or so. Not that I was surprised, nor was I disappointed. I was actually pretty relieved that I didn't have to deal with that anymore. Suffice to say, I don't think I'll be hearing much from him.

The other shocking thing that I've done recently is made the decision to not date. It came after a long struggle with not being in a relationship. After considering my past relationships, I pretty much concluded that I'm horrible when it comes to picking guys for myself. The next guy that I date is going to be the guy that God means for me to marry. And I'm okay with that. Until then, I'm keeping myself pure, and I'm honoring my future husband. That for me is pretty dramatic.

AHHHHHHHHHH so let me just say this: CHRISTMAS IS ALMOST HERE!!!!!!

I'm so flippin' excited. I've already busted out the Christmas cd's. And I'm pretty sure I'm gonna make my own Christmas mix. Oooh... maybe that's what I'll do tonight if I can't sleep. Thanksgiving is in a week, and after that all the holiday traditions begin! I can't wait. This is my favorite time of year. Pretty much the whole month and a half surrounding Christmas. Best time of the year. Period.

Man, it's already 3:41. I wish I could sleep. I don't want to fall asleep and miss class. Especially because I put so much work into preparing for tomorrow's class.

Okay. I think I'm going to sleep now.