Friday, September 15, 2006

Psalm 3:4 "I cried to the Lord with my voice, and He heard me from His holy hill."

Praise God for tonight.

I honestly can't remember the last time that I felt this way. It was as if everything that I've been going through just disappeared for a few hours.

Today was an especially hard day. It was very emotional. I didn't go to my classes. I pretty much watched tv all day, and worked on my knitting. I took a shower, and just relaxed. I was starting to feel better, and I thought maybe things were getting better. Around 6, I headed over to the BCM for the meeting with my leadership team. It turned out that only the chair was there (I, and the other girl were the vice-chairs.) So I talked to him, and he took it pretty well. While I was talking to him, I could feel my face getting hot and I knew that I was going to start to cry. I managed to hold it back. While waiting for Caroline to get there, I listened to my ipod and relaxed on the couch. At one point I got up and saw my roommate from last year. She asked me how things were going and it was at that point that I just broke down. I went to the bathroom and washed my face, and tried relaxing on the couch again. A few minutes later I decided that I was too emotional and needed to go home. I called Caroline to let her know that I probably wasn't going to go. She came over to my dorm, and while she was on her way I decided that I shouldn't be alone. So I went back to the BCM. It was pretty busy and I felt a lot overwhelmed. During the worship, I just couldn't handle it anymore. I knelt at the front of the stage and wept harder than I've been able to in forever. I can't explain the feeling. It literally felt like God had wrapped his arms around me. I think for the first time I was able to let go of a lot.

After BCM, a bunch of us (and by bunch, I mean like 25) headed over to TGI Fridays for dessert and a few people ate actual food. More importantly, I was in the company of amazing friends. I don't think many of them will ever realize how important it was for them to be there. I laughed harder than I've been able to in probably a few weeks. I can't remember the last time I had that much fun. Probably last semester. God knew exactly what I needed. I think things are going to start getting better now. I know that if I had stayed home tonight, I probably would have sunk deeper than I could have pulled myself out of.

1 comment:

CaroDonehew said...

yay...and there is great rejoicing... :)