I found some time to think about you on the long ride home

“You have four years to be irresponsible here. Relax. Work is for people with jobs. You'll never remember class time, but you'll remember time you wasted hanging out with your friends. So, stay out late. Go out on a Tuesday with your friends when you have a paper due Wednesday. Spend money you don't have. Drink 'til sunrise. The work never ends, but college does..."” Tom Petty

so it's wednesday. I should have been in class, but I didn't go.

To tell you the truth, I've been feeling very antisocial today. I was just not in the mood to deal with a lecture, let alone two. I know it's bad to start this so early in the semester, so I'm going to blame PMS. That's probably what it is anyway. It probably also explains why I slept in late. So now I'm eating raviolis (chef boyardee), drinking water, and waiting for my 2:30 appointment with Rahul. I'm going to tell him that I can't do leadership

*UPDATE*

So I was halfway through the upper section when I realized I had to leave for my meeting with Rahul. It went well. He was a lot better about it than I expected. He said he was glad I had the courage to talk to him about it. It actually took a lot from me. I hate having to admit that I can't do something. Especially when it's something that I signed up for. It's something that I have to work on. I also talked to him about my struggling. Which is another thing I hate admitting. I'm glad I did though, because he helped me out a lot. I think what helped me the most, though, is that there was no judgement. That's something that I struggle with constantly. I hate it when people think badly of me. I will do pretty much whatever it takes to make sure everyone likes me. It's something that I have to work on, also. This meeting was really good for me. I also got to talk to him about my brother, which I think also helped him realize where I was coming from about the leadership position. Then I talked to him about my roommate. Talking about it helped me put everything in perspective. It feels like satan is attacking me where it hurts the most, my family and the space I live in. Something that I didn't get to talk to Rahul about was the temptation to start going out to clubs again. I really really want to. Badly. I also have the strong desire to go out and drink, and just be a stereotypical college student. I think one of the reasons is because I've stopped doing my daily devotionals. So I'm gonna do that right now while my roommate is at a job interview.

Please pray for me.