amazing grace how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. I once was lost but now am found was blind but now I see

"my chains are gone, I've been set free. My God my Savior has ransomed me. And like a flood, His mercy reigns, unending love. Amazing grace."

I don't understand why it's so hard for me to grasp that concept. Perhaps because human love, the kind of love that I'm used to dealing with, is conditional. How often we hear that someone has "fallen out of love" or done something considered so reprehensible that it is "impossible to love" that person. If you do x, y, and z on my list, I will love you forever, but if you do a, b, and c I can never love you. People wonder why they have to work so hard to fall in love, that's because there's a fear that if you just give it away, people will take advantage of you. And they do.

You would think that, considering the nature of human love, I would be open and accepting of an unconditional, eternal love. Instead, I'm skeptical. I can't grasp the concept, and I don't understand why I'm deserving of such a love.

I could love somebody other than you but I don't want to

It feels like I haven't been here in forever.
It's amazing.
I feel so much lighter, it's such a great feeling.
I'm also feeling better. I have more energy, and am getting back into a regular sleeping pattern. This weekend kinda screwed that up, though. Thursday night I went out with one of my friends for his birthday and we ended up at IHOP at 330, didn't get to sleep til about 6. Same thing Saturday morning because I did Relay For Life. Then on Saturday night, I did a police ride along and didn't get home until almost 4 a.m. so of course didn't fall asleep til about 6 a.m. again. So I'm trying to get out of that. Last night I went to sleep around 4. Woke up at noon. Now instead of sleeping for 12+ hours, I'm only sleeping for 8. Now if only I could make myself go to sleep at an earlier time. But the vitamins are helping, and I'm feeling a lot better. Both physically and otherwise.
I went to Late Nite on Sunday. It was awesome. I realized that part of the problem that I was having was the fact that I hadn't reached out to anyone for help. I was blaming other people, and refusing to acknowledge my role in it. Sunday night was good because I finally reached out to someone for help. I finally admitted to myself that I can't do this on my own, and that I need someone else. It felt really good. Not only did I do that, but for the first time in probably two months I was able to cry. Not just a couple tears, but really crying. It got to the point where I couldn't stop crying. It was such a release. My soul felt so much better after that. Now I just have to stick to it, and not get scared. I realized that I have this thing about allowing people to see when I'm broken. I hate being judged, and I think that admitting to needing help causes people to judge me in a bad way.
So that sums up where I've been for a while. I honestly was not doing well at one point, and made some bad decisions. I was involved with a guy that I should not have been involved with. Finally I got tired of being treated the way that I was, and I was upset with myself for being in that situation. So I mustered up all the strength I had at that point and told him that I deserved better and that I didn't want to see him anymore. Let me tell you something, when you're in one of the lowest points in your life, and struggling with the things that I had been struggling with (as far as relationships go) one of the hardest things to do is end any semblance of a relationship that you have with someone. I wanted so badly to have someone, I missed the intimacy of a relationship. I wanted it so badly, that I settled for someone that under other circumstances I would not have even considered. I'm not proud of it, but it taught me a great lesson.

On a much lighter note, for my birthday I received Pride And Prejudice on DVD! I love it! It even has the ending that the other version I had didn't. I'm so excited!

late nite conversations with God

exhaustion always makes you think.

have you ever noticed that?

last night i was super exhausted, but I just couldn't sleep. Instead I found myself awake at 2 a.m. with thoughts running through my mind. There were so many things that I found myself thinking about. In the end, I ended up seeing things from a really bad perspective, which made me feeling really badly about myself, and making myself out to be this poor, helpless victim. In reality, the things that I get myself into are my fault. One of my good friends told me that until I figure out what I want, things will not get better. She was right. I don't know what I want. I mean, don't get me wrong. I know what I want as far as life goes. I know what I want in the future. I'm trying to figure out what I want right now. I know what I need. But of course, that's different from what I want. I have to figure out how to get past the things that I think I need, and figure out where my heart is. Only then will I be able to see things for what they really are. In reality, things are not that bad. My life is not bad. I have it so much better than I make it seem sometimes.

Help.

I've fallen.

And I can't get back up.

I can't even explain how this song applies

I ain't even gonna to ask you
I can read you like a book
Girl if I ever saw one that's an
I can't believe I did that look
You look like something that the cat drug in
So I won't kick you while you're down
Just let me tell you friend to friend
'Bout a block I've been around

Did you really think last night would last forever
Did you really think that guy hung the moon
Right now you hate yourself 'cause you knew better
But there's no use crying over spilled perfume

There's a big difference between lonely
And lonely for way too long
And I knew when he made his move
You weren't feeling all that strong
So I bit my tongue 'cause I saw it coming
As you danced so close to him
It's two steps forward and three steps back
When a heart is on the mend

Did you really think last night would last forever
Did you really think that guy hung the moon
Right now you hate yourself 'cause you knew better
But there's no use crying over spilled perfume

You fell in a moment of weakness
Well you just got to pull yourself back up
Dry your morning-after tears
'Cause what's done is done

Did you really think last night would last forever
Did you really think that guy hung the moon
Right now you hate yourself 'cause you knew better
But there's no use crying over spilled perfume

No use crying over, no use crying over
No use crying over, spilled perfume

I may hate myself in the morning.

But I'm gonna love you tonight.





(so true)

if you feel alone and lost and need a friend remember every new beginning is some beginning's end

Have you ever been in a place in your life where you're just unhappy with the way things are? That's where I am. I'm just so frustrated. I suppose I should clarify. I'm 22 years old (or at least I will be in about a month.) The idea of going out every weekend and getting obliterated no longer appeals to me. I'd much rather be able to go out for dinner with friends, maybe have a margarita, and just enjoy good company and intelligent conversation. So I suppose it's not so much where I'm at in life as it is where the rest of the people around me are at. Most of my friends, while mature in their own way, still enjoy the "party" scene. Others of my friends don't drink at all, or we're not really friends. More like acquaintances. Which is another issue I'm having. But the point in my life that I'm at is that I want friends who have the same interests that I do, and enjoy the same things that I do. Not that I don't mind going out and doing random, goofy things now and again. But I'd also like to do things like visit museums, go out for coffee, things like that. I don't know. I guess it's just that the people that I'm meeting are still in the party frame of mind. The thing with not really feeling like I have many friends is bothering me. It's something that I've been struggling with for quite a while now, and it's all with the same people. Perhaps a sign that I should be branching out and meeting people on my own, instead of through people. But the thing is that these people go to my church, and I feel like I shouldn't be feeling like they're fake. Which is pretty much how I feel. I see them, and they're so nice that sometimes I'm just like COME ON! Tonight, for instance. I went to Late Nite for the first time in quite a few weeks. No one even acknowledged the fact that I hadn't been there. And it's not like I just go there, I'm supposed to be on the leadership team. The girl in charge acted like I'm there every day. It just really rubs me the wrong way. I want to use the word pretentious, because that's pretty much the only word I can think of to describe it. And it hurts, because then it's like well what's wrong with me that these people aren't good friends of mine? It's like I am unable to make/keep good friends. I have 4 good friends. And if I'm really honest with myself, only one of those people is close enough to me to even have the slightest notion of what I'm really dealing with. Growing pains suck. Especially because this thing that I've been struggling with has been affecting my faith. I can't remember the last time I prayed before tonight. I don't know the last time that I did my quiet time, when before I had been doing it on a daily basis. Late Nite was amazing for me, in the way that it just really reminded me that I'm not going through this alone. It was an amazing feeling. It was even better having Jess there, feeling the same way that I was about some things, just being a source of comfort for me. I feel like I've been depressed for the past few weeks, and now I'm starting to come out of it. Relationships, though, that's a different story. That's a depression I'm having the hardest time coming out of.

we both know how much I let you down. Janie don't you take your love to town

So tonight at work was definitely interesting. It started out pretty well. Jessica and I were having a good time, just driving around not really doing much of anything. We had a war going on with another team that involved tennis balls. Then as the night progressed things started to go downhill. First I got this random text message from a guy that I haven't spoken with/heard from in over a year. Then he kept harassing me. I ignored his calls and messages and finally he sent me a message saying goodnight and he'd talk to me later. NO HE WON'T! I ignored him the whole time, why does he think that we'll be talking later? I just don't understand. This kid honestly doesn't get hints. I don't know what I'm going to do about it. So I was dealing with that, and the team that we were goofing off with started to get upset (or at least they seemed it and we thought they were) so our moods quickly deteriorated. We finally left work at 2 a.m. I was ready to go home. So I changed into my pj's and did some stuff on the computer. Then one of the guys from the team at work called me and we chatted for a few minutes. I think we're getting to be pretty decent friends. We'll see how that turns out. He's a nice guy. He always makes sure I get home safely on the nights that we both work together until 2:30. So he called tonight since I had left earlier than he had. Tomorrow I'm really excited because after my class Jessica and I are heading over to the beach. It's supposed to be in the 80s! I can't wait. I really wanted to go today, but couldn't. So I just hung out, listened to some Bon Jovi, and relaxed. I should have charged my ipod, though, because the battery died with about 2 hours left in our shift. So that wasn't cool. I'm charging it now for the beach tomorrow. Class should be interesting. It's going to be about the death penalty. I think I ate something bad on Monday night because I spent the majority of Tuesday feeling like I was going to throw up, then I did, and then I pretty much passed out for the night. It was not a nice feeling. But this morning I woke up feeling pretty okay. I took it kind of easy all day. I went to lunch with Rachel (!!!) and hung out with her for a while. That was fun. Then after that I came home and did some work I needed to do for one of my classes. Then Jessica and I went before work and got some food and mini speakers from walmart to hook up to my ipod so we could listen to music. So that was my day. I felt fine the whole day, so all I can figure is that I ate something that made me sick. Oh well. I think I'm gonna get some sleep now.

don't know what I did to earn a love like this

So it's been one year exactly since I was baptized. I can't believe time has gone by so quickly.

Life is definitely interesting, I'll give it that. It's pretty great, though. So I can't complain.

Update - It's been a while

So it's been quite a while since I've updated. I'd like to say that I've been so busy, but with the exception of the past two days, that's not quite true. I've just had nothing to update about until now.

Caroline and I went to Cocoa Beach on Thursday night and we spent the majority of yesterday there. It was amazing! We got in around 4:30 a.m. we found the 24 hour Ron Jon shop and went in there for a little while. Then we just walked around a bit, looking at random stuff. Then we tried to sleep in the car, but we were both so tired/excited that we just ended up giddy. The sunrise was at 6:46 and it was beautiful! The sky was clear long enough for us to get some beautiful pictures, both digital and film. After the sunrise, it got pretty cloudy. We took some pictures of the water, and found some guys surfing and got some amazing pictures. However, our first roll of film (one apiece!) was ruined because I forgot that I had to push a button on the bottom of my camera to release the film. I was quite saddened. But we each got two more rolls filled, so I was okay with that. Plus the surfing pictures and some of the sunrise were on my digital camera so that was cool too. Then we drove around, and got some starbucks at a little mall place with a surf shop. After that we were gonna change but we decided to try to sleep a8 little cuz we were pretty tired. We ended up sleeping for only about 25 minutes. After that we got some McDonald's and changed and headed over to the beach. By that time the sun was back out and it was about 85 degrees. Pretty warm! We found a great place under the pier to set up, where we just relaxed and took some pictures. We rested, but didn't sleep. We left cocoa beach around 1:30 and it took about 4 hours to get home. It was such an amazing trip and I can't wait to go again!

Today I was supposed to go home (which I was really excited about because I miss my parents and my sister) but I guess everyone is sick. So I ended up not going home, which I'm pretty sad about. I get to see my dad and my sister next weekend for sure, maybe my mom. I need to be studying for the test I have on monday that I keep forgetting about. Maybe I'll do that soon.

randomness

List things that you want to say to people, but never will.
Don't say who they are.
Never discuss it again.
No particular order.

Sometimes I wonder why I'm friends with you. You can be one of the most annoying people that I've ever met.

I think you're horrible at what you do, and if I had my way you wouldn't be doing it. You're too judgemental.

I wish you'd do one of two things, either contact me and get it over with. Or move on.

Sometimes you're really shallow, and it gets kind of aggravating.

I wish we spent more time together. And I feel really bad because even though I think you're great, I'm shallow and I said some really mean things about you a while back just to fit in.

I let what other people said about you influence my opinion of you, and now I wish I could take it back.

I was really hurt when you rejected me, even though I acted like it was no big deal.

I don't think you have a chance.

these days the stars ain't out of reach

Someone that I know always says that in the end we always go back to the beginning. To me, that is such a complex statement. It has so many meanings. The thing that I always think of, though, rings true. At least for me. It always seems that when I fall, I go back to the way that I once was. I go back to the things that I used to do, the people that I used to know. Someone once told me (or maybe it's just what I once thought) that I do this because it's who I really am and I can't change that, I can't get away from it. Even if I want to so badly. I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if it's true, if I'm destined to fall in the same way every time. I'm extremely frustrated with myself. Things were going so well. I was doing so well. But I always go back to that place, that person. I don't even want to be that person. At least most of the time. I don't know. It seems like I'm rambling and not making much sense.

I've been perusing other blogs lately. It seems as if everyone else writes their blogs for other people. As if they're writing for an audience. I think mine is mostly for myself, I write to clear my head. To put things in perspective. Perhaps that's why a lot of people don't read mine? Not that I mind, don't get me wrong. I don't plan on changing my blog. If it weren't for this, I would probably have anxiety attacks more often. Just an observation.

the world is turning in front of me and sometimes it's hard for me to let go

So in my quiet time yesterday, something dawned on me. I meant to write about it last night, but I was just so tired!

So my devotional is by Beth Moore and it's called Praying God's Word: Devotional Journal. I know that there's a book that it's supposed to go with, but meh. I didn't want to read the book, I just wanted the journal. So that's what I got.

Anyway, yesterday's devotional was called "Much to Teach" and she has this to say: Perhaps one of your strongholds is an addiction to a certain substance or behavior (hahaha God just kicked me in the face when I read that). Hear me: God can set you free. But what He requires from you is time, trust, and cooperation. The immense power of an addiction is rarely broken in a day. You see, God has as much desire to teach you as well as overwhelm you. He could show us His power by instantaneously setting us free from all desire for our stronghold. But few things beyond our salvation are "once and for all." If He delivered us instantly, we would see His greatness once, but we would soon forget. We'd risk going back. On the other hand, if God teaches us victory in Christ day by day, we live in the constant awareness of His greatness and sufficiency.

Let me tell you, that was a blow. Here I had been expecting God to just automatically take away my desire. It hadn't occurred to me that perhaps God was taking it away, just not automatically. It never occurred to me that the Teacher wanted to actually teach me. In that moment it occurred to me that this desire to go to clubs and go out to bars is an addiction. And for a long time, I thought that the only addictive part was the drinking, and I figured that as long as I didn't drink when I went out, I'd be okay. Aha! How wrong was I? That was a lie Satan was telling me. It had nothing to do with alcohol. I stopped drinking when I went out, and I didn't feel any better. The way I acted was the problem. Here's the kicker for me. I stopped telling people that I was doing it, because I knew what their reactions would be. GUILT? you bet. I didn't realize it, though. Talk about a kick in the pants.

I'm nervous though. I feel as if I can't trust myself to make the right choice. I've already proven that I give in to temptation if I'm having an especially rough time. Sometimes I can be strong and avoid temptation. Other times, especially if I'm stressed or having a hard time with something, the temptation is too much. I tell myself "this is the last time." Well the last three times have been the "last time." So where did that get me?

I think, though, that yesterday's devotion really made a difference for me. I realized that it is possible to resist the temptation, even in the hard times. I just have to work extra hard.

A good friend sent this to me. I'm just passing it on. It's the truth!

Let it go for 2007.. By T. D. Jakes

There are people who can walk away from you.

And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you:
Let them walk.

I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving
you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to
you. I mean hang up the phone.
When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never
tied to anybody that left.

The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made manifest
that they were not for us.
For had they been of us, no doubt they would have continued with us.
[1John 2:19] People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if
they are not joined to you, you can't make them stay.

Let them go.

And it doesn't mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part
in the story is over And you've got to know when people's part in your story
is over so that you don't keep trying to raise the dead.
You've got to know when it's dead.

You've got to know when it's over. Let me tell you something. I've got the
gift of good-bye. It's the tenth spiritual gift, I believe in good-bye.
It's not that I'm hateful, it's that I'm faithful, and I know whatever God
means for me to have He'll give it to me.
And if it takes too much sweat I don't need it.
Stop begging people to stay.

Let them go!!

If you are holding on to something that doesn't belong to you and was never
intended for your life, then you need to......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to past hurts and pains ......

LET IT GO!!!

If someone can't treat you right, love you back, and see your worth.....

LET IT GO!!!

If someone has angered you ........

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction.....

LET IT GO!!!

If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or talents
LET IT GO!!!

If you have a bad attitude.......

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better......

LET IT GO!!!

If you're stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new level in
Him......

LET IT GO!!!

If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship.......

LET IT GO!!!

If you keep trying to help someone who won't even try to help
themselves.....

LET IT GO!!!

If you're feeling depressed and stressed .........

LET IT GO!!!

If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself
and God is saying "take your hands off of it,"
then you need to.....

LET IT GO!!!

Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new
thing for 2007!!!

LET IT GO!!!

Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then .

LET IT GO!!!

"The Battle is the Lord's!"

I'm not alright I'm broken inside and all I go through it leads me to You

So last night was definitely a PMS night. I went to sleep early and woke up late, and it was great. About my post from last night. It's true. Unfortunately it's one of those things that I have to admit about myself. Though I realized that it's not that I'm incapable of doing those things, in the case of saving money I haven't learned how to do it. So that's what I'm going to do this semester. With my classes, the reason that I'm not doing so hot is because I'm lazy. There was an entire week where I only went to class on one day. I didn't start studying for the tests until the night before. I had started out the semester well. I was reading ahead of time, and going to class. Then I got lazy. I stopped doing the readings, and I decided that I didn't feel like going to class. So that's something that I have to work on, also.

I still maintain that being an adult with all this responsibility sucks.

So I don't know if it's PMS or if it's because it's true, but right now I just really feel like I suck at life.

I can't save money for anything. I wish I could. I really want to. I'm supposed to. I just can't do it. My mom is amazing at it, and you'd think that I got that talent from her. But no. I got 1000 dollars back from school. It was supposed to be put in a bank account. I spent it. ALL of it. One week ago, there was 200 dollars left out of that thousand. Now? $16.59 It's very overwhelming. I'm supposed to be saving this money so I can buy a car. So I can get a job over the summer. So I can move into an apartment off campus.

The second reason I suck at life? I can't be motivated to do well in my classes. I think I have one class that I have above a C in right now. I know it's only the beginning of the semester, but I mean come on. I can't even start off with a decent grade. How am I supposed to end up with one?

I'm thinking (seriously) that I ought to just forego a social life, get a second job, and do nothing but eat, sleep, work, and study. Oh. and not spend money. Because otherwise, I suck at it.

So it's back.
That restless feeling.
I wish I knew how to get rid of it.
Besides the obvious (giving in.)
Except.
I really really want to give in.
I really really really want to just go.
Somewhere.
Anywhere.
but here.

Savior, He can move the mountains. my God is mighty to save. Forever, author of salvation, He rose and conquered the grave

Have you ever noticed that no matter how hard you try, you can't forget the past? It seems to me that the past refuses to be forgotten. Whether it be an event, or a person, or perhaps even a place, you can't get rid of it. Sure, you can go for a long period of time without thinking of it. Before you know it, you don't ever think about it. Then all of a sudden, there it is. Walking down the street, watching tv, sitting at your job, talking to someone else, whatever the situation. It all comes flooding back to you. Or you're just reminded of it. Perhaps it's a person you see everywhere that you wish you could forget. Or maybe it's parts of a place that show up in every corner you turn. Does this make it hard for you to move on? For me, I think that I might have been the biggest obstacle to getting over my past. I think that I just wallowed (for lack of a better word) in the pain and misery of everything that was going on in my life at a certain point. I let it take over my life. I tried to see bits and pieces in everything that was going on around me. I wouldn't let it go. Looking back now, I've figured out that I was afraid of letting go. I can't explain why, I don't know that I ever will be able to. I made myself miserable, and for what? Why is it that I wanted to be miserable for so long? Why didn't I want to be happy? I think that I used it to connect with people. I played the wounded victim. I wanted people to think "wow look at how much she's been through." Why?

I can honestly say that it's been quite a year for me. So much has changed in my life, so much has changed about myself. Though sometimes I catch myself using my past as a way to connect with people, I've now found other things. I'm happier than I've been since I can remember. I've realized that all the things I went through had to happen. It was how God got my attention. Good things are finally happening to me. More importantly, I'm letting good things happen to me. I'm accepting that I'm worth that much. I guess I never thought that I was worth it, because I had allowed myself to do the things that I've done. I suppose in a way it was a form of self-punishment? I'm so thankful that I got out of that. I can now accept my past. I can say yes, I've done those things. No, I'm not perfect. I suppose I've sort of liberated myself. I don't have all the answers. I don't even know who I am yet, but I'm getting there. I'm finding out more and more about who I am every day. I'm so excited to wake up every day and experience something new. I read somewhere that once a week you should do something unexpected, just to keep your life exciting. I think I'll try that. This week, something happened in my life. Something major, at least to me. Last weekend was particularly rough, but again it needed to happen. It was a catalyst for (perhaps the first) change in my life. I decided last week that I was sick of going to bars, and going to parties, and getting drunk. I haven't changed my opinion that a drink now and then is wrong, but I do see now that nothing good comes out of going and getting wasted in a place full of drunk, obnoxious people. I was one of those drunk, obnoxious people. I even lowered my standards. I would never have accepted that behavior from people I love. Why would I accept it from myself? So I gave it to God. He completely took away that desire. This past week I had a few opportunities to go out and get drunk, and I said no. I said no because I didn't even want to. The thought didn't appeal to me. That is so amazing to me, considering that not even 7 days before I had wanted to do it so badly that I considered putting my job in jeopardy.

What is it some random commercial says, change is good? That is so true.

I'll join with the angels in Heaven on high singing Praise the Lord I saw the light

ahhhhhhhh. David Crowder Band does an amazing version of "I Saw The Light" and it's on their A Collision or (3+4=7) album. (not a shameless plug, oh no!)

haha. I just finished the homework for one of my online classes. I should start the one that's due tomorrow at midnight (for a different class) considering that I'll be pretty busy tomorrow. I'll do it in a little while. Right now I'm not doing much of anything. I slept right through class today. Apparently I was tired from work last night.

Tonight is Challenge and I have to go in at 6:30 to do the welcome committee. I'm not really sure what I'm going to do with it yet. Caroline is going to help me, so yay for that!

"why are we obsessed with possessions here on earth? go and take a look at the flowers and the birds. God has always taken care of nature's every need. How much more important in the Father's eyes are we?"

I love that line. It's from Things Like You by Sanctus Real. How true is that. Oh, which reminds me. I need to do my quiet time. When I woke up my roommate was here, so I waited until she left. Now she's gone to take a test and then she's coming back to pack her stuff for the weekend. So I don't know how long I have.

Oh, if you're a praying person please pray for my friend Justin. I just got word that he's been sent back to Iraq, and they say only until the summer, but no one knows for sure when he'll be able to come home.

shine Your light and let the whole world see we're singing for the glory of the risen King

Today was actually very productive. I'm quite pleased with myself.

I went to class. (hooray!) Except last night at work I forgot to bring my binder and did the wrong case. So I did the right one today after class and dropped it off at my professor's office. Before I did that, I ended up at the free market on campus, hanging out with some cool people. Then I had some Burger King, and got to see Rachel, so that was cool. Caroline and I hung out with her for like an hour or something. Then I saw Val, and that was cool cuz I haven't seen her in forever. After that, I sat at the BCM tent thing for another half hour or so. Then I dropped off my assignment, then I went over to the BCM where I got more stuff done! I didn't get a chance to talk to Rahul, but I did ask Kylie to include in the mass email that goes out the prayer thing that I'm starting with my email address so people can be added to my list. Now I just have to figure out how to organize that on gmail. Yay! new organizing stuff. I love it. Then I went and checked my mail (my Beth Moore devotional still hasn't come!) and now I'm in my room before work.

Oh! The best part is that last night I found someone to take my Friday opening shift permanently so now I can do a Bible study on Friday nights! Hooray!

Even more importantly, not only have I been doing my quiet time every day, but it's been amazing! Today I found this verse that I just fell in love with. It's 1 Corinthians 1:9. (I mainly just love the first three words) It says God is faithful. Man oh man how that has proven to be so true in my life! Then it occurred to me (also during my quiet time) that God is faithful even when I'm not, and that just blew my mind. Definitely made me stop and think a while. Good stuff!

Man, my life is going so great right now! Oh man. So I had a meeting with Rahul yesterday, and we just talked about everything. I told him the problems I had been having with Challenge, and I ended up becoming part of the welcome committee, and now apparently I'm the organizer of it (which means I'm in charge of all the interns mwahaha). So I'm really excited about that, because I want people to feel welcome, not like they're lost in the shuffle. Plus I'm heading up this prayer chain thing, and I'm super excited about that.

Okay I think that's it. OH! I forgot to mention two very exciting things. The first is that I got a Coach purse (which is pretty much just like brand new, except used) for 17 dollars at a thrift store last Saturday. I'm so flipping excited!!! SEVENTEEN DOLLARS for a purse that's like normally around 200 dollars or so. Maybe even 300. I've wanted this purse for like 2 years now. Patience really does pay off!! The other exciting thing is that on Friday Caroline and I are going thrift shopping again! This time we're going to places that we missed on Saturday (because we were on a time crunch) and now that I don't have to be back for work, we can take our time! So excited!

Okay, that's really all I have to say! I'm gonna take a nap before work.