you never let go through the calm and through the storm

agh! growing pains!


Sometimes when you see things for what they are, it sucks. I think that's where I'm at. I'm not gonna get into it, because God knows what I'm going through. For a while I've been sitting back and just observing what's been going on around me, and I've started to see the way things really are. There's some stuff in my life that I'm not happy with, and there are parts of my life that I'm not happy with. God's really convicting me that some things need to change, and the first thing I have to change is myself. It's just hard because I feel like I'm all alone in this. I feel like I can't really talk to anyone about it. I feel like no one understands what's going on. It's just annoying, but I know that this is teaching me to rely on God.

there's a place in my heart that I hold You near theres a place in my heart I hold most dear there's a place in my heart that wants You so

Yuck. my sinuses are all messed up. My ears are plugged, my throat is scratchy and my nose is dry, yet stuffy. It's not fun. I don't necessarily feel sick, but I don't feel fine either. The worst part is that there really isn't anything I can do about it. Just drink lots of hot tea and take sudafed. I really wish I had hot apple cider right now. It sounds soooo good.

I hope I'm better by this weekend. That would be bad if I wasn't. My family is planning on going to Universal Studios. I miss them, and would love to be able to spend the time with them. I'm trying to find someone to take my shift on Friday night, and I'm gonna see if maybe I can pick up a shift tomorrow night to make up for it. We'll see what happens.

These past few days have been absolutely amazing for me. I've been reading When God Writes Your Love Story, and I'm gaining a whole new perspective on this relationship thing that I've been struggling with. I decided that God's way is better than my way, and I gave it over to Him. I'm not going to date anyone until he reveals to me the man that I'm supposed to marry. I'm going to keep myself pure until I get married. For me, the hardest part of this is the "thing" I have with Chris. I don't know how to describe it. It's like a flirty friendship, with the potential to go further (at least on his part) once we get to know each other better. Now that I've made some changes, though, I realize that by continuing to act the same towards Chris, I'm not keeping myself pure. I've already given a little piece of myself to so many people, and now I've given a small part of myself to Chris. These are parts of me that God intended for my husband. I've been selfish and haven't considered him. I know how I would feel if I saw the person that I'm supposed to marry giving little parts of himself that are supposed to be mine to other girls. That is a bizarre feeling. All of a sudden, someone else is more important than I am, and I haven't even met them yet!

My quiet time has improved dramatically, though its still a little too short for my tastes. I'm not sure how to make it last longer. However, I feel closer to God than I've felt probably since I came back to Him. I have the strongest desire to draw closer to Him, and its no longer a burden to spend time in the word. I absolutely love it.

I didn't go to any of my classes today. My head did not feel up to sitting upright in a lecture class for 3 hours. So I emailed my professors letting them know what was going on. Luckily my professors are pretty cool and understand. So I don't have to worry about that. The only thing is that I'll have to attend a class tomorrow, because the professor doesn't accept just any excuse. You have to have documented proof (such as a prescription,, or a receipt from student health services) to prove that you are sick (or whatever your excuse was.) It's kinda lame, but it's his class and I have to respect his reasons.

Anyway, I'm debating about work tonight. I go in at 9, and it's supposed to be cold again. If I do go in, I may not have a partner, or I may have to train someone. We'll see what I have to do. I may go in and find out that I have no partner, and I might be able to leave early. Or I could hang out til 230 and get paid to do nothing. I might call my boss today to see what's up. Okay. So I called my boss, and I'm training someone. It's kinda yucky, cuz it means I have to drive and can't bring a blanket, but at least I'll have a partner and will still get paid instead of being sent home. I guess I'll just bring lots of hot tea and medicine.

Thankful for

• My mom, for always knowing what to do when I don't
• The time to spend with my family this weekend
• Professors who understand
• Time to sleep when I don't feel the greatest
• Accountability time with my best friend!
  

light will guide you home

Today I had the best quiet time I think I've had thus far.

The weather is gorgeous today, cool and breezy. So I decided to do my quiet time outside under the trees. I've also incorporated When God Writes Your Love Story into my quiet time. I just drew so close to God today and it felt so good.

Things are looking up

For His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life. Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. Psalm 30:5

So I'm trying this new thing. Actually, I'm trying a couple new things. First and foremost I finally let go of the last little bit that I was holding on to. I'll say no more than that. Second thing is I'm trying to not gossip. I know it doesn't seem that hard, but sometimes it gets to the point where I don't even realize I'm doing it. I know this is something God is trying to teach me, and boy oh boy is He ever trying to teach me. I'm gonna do this. The biggest thing that I'm trying is trusting God with everything. I mean everything. The biggest thing I'm trusting Him with is my love life. I've started reading When God Writes Your Love Story. And I realized that I have horrible judgement when left to choose for myself. So I've decided that I'm not going to date anyone. Or pursue any relationships. When the time is right, it will happen and I won't be able to do anything to stop it.

I spent a couple hours with Jessica today. She picked me up when she got out of church, and we walked again, this time at her apartment complex. I'm so glad this is something that we're doing together. I really can't motivate myself to do it alone. After, we just sat and talked for a while. I think we both really figured some stuff out. I just got out of the shower, and finished blowdrying my hair. Now I need to figure out what I'm wearing to Late Nite. Caroline and I are gonna hang out before. I really feel bad for not letting her in on the goings-on of the past couple of weeks. Anyway, it's 4:30 so I'm gonna start getting ready. I should probably eat, too.

I wanna live like today could be my last day to give all I have before it's too late

last night was something that I've needed for so long.

I went to Jessica's apartment. It was very low-key, there were just a few people there. We had really good 7-layer dip. Sooo delicious. I even ate the corn! After we ate, we watched a couple episodes from the first season of Grey's Anatomy. What a good show! After that we went in the hot tub, and just relaxed. Then we went back inside and watched some more Grey's Anatomy. After that, the other three left and it was just Jessica and I. We sat up until almost 4 in the morning and just talked. I can't remember the last time I did that. I ended up staying the night (for obvious reasons) and it was just a fun time, and definitely something that I needed after these past two weeks of struggling with friendships. Granted, I did a lot more listening than talking, but I'm okay with that. God is really working in my life, and I can feel my faith growing. It's amazing. They say hindsight is 20/20. I think that's true. Looking back over the past few weeks, I realize that what I went through was God working on me, and I needed for it to happen.

So it's 2:30 now. I think I might go do a little grocery shopping. I'm gonna jump in the shower though first.

Thankful for:

• spontaneous sleepovers
• girl talk
• hot tubs with friends
• Grey's Anatomy
  

if you don't have faith you have nothing at all if you don't have deeds your faith will fall

It's funny how a split second can change your entire outlook. God really knows how to get my attention. I don't even know where to begin. I was supposed to go to work tonight. Challenge was at 8. I decided to take a shower around 7:30. At 7:55 I decided to go to Challenge instead. So I walked to BCM. I gave up the closing base shift to go. It was the best decision I think I've ever made. I was really convicted tonight, in so many ways. The pastor from Late Nite spoke, and the message was on being a servant. I think the thing that hit home most was that in order to be selfless, you have to get over yourself. I realized that these past couple of weeks I've been very selfish. I've been focused on myself, I've been pitying myself. I've been upset because people aren't fulfilling my needs. It was through a conversation with someone (which I'll explain in a bit) that I realized that I can't rely on others to fulfill my needs. If I give of myself the way that God has called me to, He will fulfill all my needs. I'm relying too much on myself and others, and not enough on God.

Which brings me to Jessica. I won't get into details of the past, but suffice to say we aren't exactly friends. Up until tonight we acknowledged each other's presence, and that was about it. For very immature reasons, I didn't like her, and she didn't like me. Tonight we had a long talk, we actually talked until everyone cleared out. It was really good for us, I think. I think we might become good friends. I realized that I am not alone in what's been going on for the past two weeks.

All in all it was a very good night. Afterwards I went with Caroline to the top of the parking garage and we watched all our crazy friends skateboard. Good times.

I'm gonna steal something from my friend Ellie and start writing what I'm thankful for.

I'm thankful for:

• an outlet for my pent up thoughts and emotions, so I don't take them out in a more destructive way.
• My God for never giving up on me
• new friends
• old friends
• music, for calming me when I'm upset (not this time though!)
• my family, for being so supportive when I need it the most
• Pastor Buff, for always cutting straight to the heart when I need to hear it
• Ellie, for being so supportive and praying for me even though she's far away and has her own family to worry about
  

can I lose my need to impress? if you want the truth, I need to confess.... I'm not alright, I'm broken inside

So I've discovered what's been bothering me. Well, actually, I've known for a while, but I think I just pinpointed exactly what's wrong. I feel as if I don't fit in my group of friends. It's hard to explain. I feel like I'm just kind of there, like I'm an observer and not so much a participant. I've spent more time with my coworkers than I have with my friends. When I asked for help, the only person to respond was a co-worker. It's as if none of my "friends" are even paying attention. I don't know, maybe I'm just letting things get to me. Maybe I'm just being dramatic, but I don't think so. This is really bothering me.

weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.

It has occurred to me that I'm really bad at this whole accountability thing. I mean, I can't even keep myself accountable. How am I supposed to help someone else? I'm really bad when it comes to sticking through stuff, I guess is how you could put it. I start something, but I have trouble staying with it. For example, last week I started going back to the gym. At least, I had made the decision. I had even gone on Monday, but I didn't go back. My reason? Exams. Except, that wasn't why. I could have gone on Friday, or on Saturday, or even Sunday, but I didn't. Did I go today? No. Was I too busy? No. Another example is my daily quiet time. I did it this morning, but before this morning, I can't remember the last time I did it. I know that's why I'm faltering in my faith. I can't even pray because I don't feel close to God. But I don't have anyone to blame except myself.

The biggest thing I think I've been struggling with lately is my friendships. I feel like a lot of my friends are "surface" friends. Sure, they know what I look like, and we've hung out, but they don't feel it necessary to "scratch the surface." They don't know what I'm like beyond that. They don't take the time to really get to know me. I haven't spoken with or seen any of my friends in the past two weeks, and no one's taken the time out to call me, or send me an email, or a myspace or facebook message, or anything like that just to say hi. I know that if it were certain other people, then within a few days it would have happened. Except not with me. And I don't know why. Is that the way they perceive me, as a surface friend? I feel like I try to get to know people, but do I really? I don't know. Supposedly college is where you find the people that will be your friends the rest of your life. Why do I feel like I'm missing out?

You are my strength when I am weak.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

that is a sigh of relief. I'm so glad this week is over. It was just one of those weeks where everything piled up. The stress of studying for exams, lack of sleep, and personal issues were just weighing me down. I'm so thankful this week is over. I'm looking forward to babysitting tomorrow. I think I'll go to the gym, too. I also plan on going to the gym on saturday. I really want to do this for myself. I think at first I wanted to do this for the wrong reasons. I go through periods of horrible self-esteem when it comes to the way my body looks. And then I look around me and see all my beautiful friends, and I just wish that I weighed a lot less. So that was kind of my motivation to start going back. I realize that everyone struggles with self-esteem for one reason or another, and this is my thing. I think, though, that I don't care so much anymore about how other people see me. It's more about how I feel about myself. It's also taking a toll on my health. I'm tired a lot, and very inactive. I don't want to be like that anymore.

This week was kind of an eye-opener for me. Not just academically, but personally, too. This is the first time in a long time that I don't have a relationship defining my life. I don't have someone to fall back on when I get like I was this week. I don't have someone to keep going back to. In my last post, I mentioned about someone being in my thoughts, and for the first time since I can remember, it wasn't in the way that he usually is. It's hard to explain, but it was actually a pretty liberating feeling. I won't go into much detail, but suffice to say at a time when I normally would have broken down and called him, I was in a place where I didn't need to. I knew that I was strong enough to handle this on my own.

God has been amazing to me this week.

i think ill get out of here where I can run just as fast as I can to the middle of nowhere to the middle of my frustrated fears

halfway through the week from hell.

As should be expected, I feel better about my classes.

But there's one person who all of a sudden won't leave my thoughts.

This is not conducive to studying.

Of course, the music isn't making things better.

I feel an anxiety attack coming on.

Yea, I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for You are with me; Your rod and staff, they comfort me. Psalm 23:4

These past 3 days have been very insightful. I have learned a lot about myself, and I learned a lot about God. From Thursday on, I have spent pretty much all of my time by myself, with the exception of work (which is where I'm at now.) I've been struggling with apathy for quite some time now. I have four mid-terms coming up this week, and I'm not worried about them. Not because I'm prepared, quite contrary, actually. I'm very unprepared. I should be spending all my time frantically trying to catch up. I just can't bring myself to care. Don't misunderstand, I'm studying and I want to pass. I'm just not stressed out like I should be. I would love to say it's because I'm confident that I'll do fine, but that's not the reason. I just don't care. And that scares the crap outta me. I realized something today, though. My apathy is a sign of a more significant problem. The truth is, I'm not dedicating myself to my classes like I should be. It's not anyone's fault but my own. I'm letting laziness (read:sin) take over my life. I'm letting it control my actions. Again. This time, I caught on before it became a major problem. Except now I'm at a weird place. I feel as if I'm just going through the motions of my faith. I don't have a daily quiet time. With the exception of Late Nite, I don't go to church. The past few weeks, and this coming week, I haven't been to BCM. I'm letting the enemy come between me and my God. So when I pray, I feel disconnected. I realize now that it's not enough to just sit idly and let things happen. I won't grow in my faith that way. I have to do more than make an effort. I have to make things happen. I need to be a better accountability partner. I've been failing my partner. I've let earthly desires take the place of the things I should desire. I don't know how much longer I'm going to struggle, but I know that no matter what I struggle with God is not going to abandon me.

it's funny how a lack of sleep at 4 am will make you think

well I thought I was over you
but I guess maybe I'm not

cuz when I let you go
looks like lonely is all that I've got

guess I'll never know what could have been

I've been tagged!

I've been tagged by Ellie to do a meme on work.

1. What is the best thing about your workplace? It's very laid back, and the job is easy. Once you get the hang of it, things go smoothly. It fits my schedule, and I love that even though we have to be professional, there are times when we can just goof around.

2. What do you hate about your workplace? There are quite a few people who take advantage of how laid back some of the people are. There are also people that don't do their jobs, and can ruin the mood of the dispatcher for the rest of us.

3. What small irritance at your workplace really annoys you? There's this one dispatcher who doesn't really do her job well. Along with dispatching, she does her homework, and spends most of her shift on the phone, usually arguing with someone. It takes her forever to answer the radio when we call in, yet she's quick to get upset if we don't respond right away when she calls us. When we patrol lots, she doesn't record it in the log, so it looks like we're not doing our jobs.

4. Describe the actions/quirks of the weirdest person you work with (can be a co-worker, employer, or a vendor if you are self-employed) .
This one's kind of hard. There are a few people that are quirky. Though I guess a lot of them left, so I'll go with my boss. He is definitely a character! Even though he's a little strict sometimes, he's very laid back! When he's dispatching, he likes to use different accents and do funny voices. He also gives people random nicknames. He has these green slipper type loafers that look like something Hugh Hefner would wear, and when he comes into the office the first thing he does is take them off! he's always barefoot! He is by far the funniest guy at my job.

5. What is one thing that you would change at your workplace to make life a helluva lot better? I hate to say it, but I would get rid of all the people that don't do their jobs. Which, at this point is only 2 or 3. I would also hire a lot more people so we weren't so shortstaffed.

Man, I'm supposed to tag 5 people, but I don't know that many in blogland :( So I'm gonna tag Caroline.

I won't waste a minute without you

It feels so good to be home.

A weekend at home is exactly what I needed. I got someone to cover my shift at work tomorrow night. I brought the books for the classes that I'm behind in the reading for. Now I'm just going to spend some time with my family this weekend. It's going to be fantastic. I'm finally able to get away from everything. I could feel the anxiety and stress building up inside.

So I had a choice tonight. And I had kind of made up my mind. Then God changed my decision for me. Which I'm kind of glad for. In the end, I don't think I would have gone with the plans that I had somewhat made, I just know that wouldn't have been a good decision for my life. But it didn't have to come to that. See, I wasn't supposed to come home tonight. I was supposed to come home tomorrow morning. When I thought that I was going home tomorrow morning, I had been invited to go out with a group of people to a bar. I didn't say yes, but I didn't say no. I told them that I'd call them later and let them know. Well it never had to come to that, because I came home tonight. I'm glad it happened that way. I know that I would have regretted going out tonight to a bar. I know that I've struggled with this quite a few times. I know that every time I have the same reaction. I don't know why I continue to think that each time it will be different. I'm going to try to work on that.

For now, I'm going to finish Grey's Anatomy and start a new book.

you give love a bad name

I can't help but wonder what this means. If it means anything at all.

Last night when I got home from work I wasn't tired. So I decided to do some stuff online. At one point, I thought to myself how much I missed having Chris to talk to at 3 a.m. when I couldn't sleep. Today, at 3 o'clock, actually, he got online. I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but it seems kinda odd to me. He's in georgia for basic training, and has to wait to get a pass so he can check his email and all that. Apparently, they lost 2 passes, so it's been about 6 weeks since I've heard from him. During the course of our conversation, he told me that he missed me, and mentioned a few times that he was sad that I hadn't written him. He also told me that I'm the only person outside of his family whom he's given his address to. I'm not quite sure why he would tell me that. I just don't know.

Then I started to wonder if this is how my life will always be. Will I always be attracted to men that are unavailable in one form or another? A few guys have been emotionally unavailable, some have had girlfriends or were interested in other girls, and now Chris is physically unavailable because he's in the army. Is that what I'm destined for? Is this how all my relationships are going to be? That scares me. I wonder if I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life.

you are beautiful my sweet sweet song

It's been quite some time, I suppose, since a real update.

Okay, so it's only been 2 days, but that's still a pretty long time for me.

I'm sitting at work again. Tonight I'm stuck here until 3. At least I brought my computer. And I watched Elizabethtown earlier. I might watch it again, just to pass the time.

Things have been going pretty well this week. My roommate is gone for the weekend, again. That's pretty exciting. I guess having to come to work tonight wasn't the worst thing in the world. At least I'm getting paid. Tomorrow is gonna be a homework day. I really need to start being responsible and catch up on all my reading. It will probably help me in class to know what the professor is talking about. Then, Caroline is coming over after work and at some poing we're heading over to our friends' apartment to hang out and eat good food. It should be a fun time.

Then Sunday night is Late Nite. I'm excited.

So last night was Challenge. It was a very weird night. At first I wasn't going to go. I was just gonna hang out at home, sleep, and maybe do some homework. Or watch Grey's Anatomy. Probably the latter. Caroline called me right after someone else did, so I was already awake and I made the split second decision to get dressed and go. This is where it gets weird. This girl that I had hung out with once a year ago had wanted me to go to a bar with her. I briefly considered it, and realized that I didn't have the desire to go. When I got to Challenge, I all of a sudden became very bitter, and antisocial. It just seemed to me that I was not in the mood to deal with people. The first couple songs, the bitterness just kinda took over and I didn't really participate. Then, I got sick of the bitter feeling in my heart and I just asked God to take it away. And wouldn't you know it, He did! It made the whole night so much better. I was able to enjoy hanging out with my friends. After Challenge we headed to Blockbuster to rent a movie, and ended up on a spontaneous Slurpee run. Come on, who doesns't enjoy slurpees? They're amazing. What had started out as a bad night, ended up being a great night!

Tonight is like super dead. It's been about forty five minutes since the last person called. Oh well. I think I'm gonna put Elizabethtown back on now. I haven't decided. Maybe I'll just keep listening to the radio while I surf the internet. Praise God for great Christian stations being available online!

I have a weakness, and it is potatoes

ever have one of those days where you wonder why you even got out of bed?

Yup. Today is one of those days. At least it started out that way.

I decided to wear my retainers last night while I slept. That caused lots of pain this morning when I woke up. It took me almost an hour to fall asleep last night, and I woke up after 6 hours of sleep. If you know me, you know that I enjoy my sleep. Waking up before at least 8 hours means I'm going to be tired all day. So I'm tired. When I woke up it was rainy and yucky, and cold in my room. I just didn't want to be out of bed. And I especially wasn't looking forward to 3 hours of class. Yeah, yeah. I know I have it easy. Whatever. It's just one of those days.

Anyway, so when I woke up I wasn't in the best mood. I took some ibuprofen for my teeth, and now they feel better. I had mashed potatoes for breakfast. The best mashed potatoes in the world. mmm potatoes.

I'm feeling a lot better now. I'm still tired, but I made it to class. I'll be in my next class too. After that, I'll be in bed. I think what's getting me through the day is knowing that I can nap after class.

Yuck. It seems like all my classes are having tests in the same week.

I WAS RIGHT!

I KNEW I WAS RIGHT!!!!!

I just wanted to start off by pointing this out. In order to tell the story, I'll start with yesterday.

Fed up with being by myself I called Caroline to see if she wanted to hang out. She did. So she came over, we hung out in my room for a while, watched part of Breakfast at Tiffany's, and played on our (matching!) computers. It was a good time. Around 6ish, we decided to go to Target (where I got this amazing Bon Jovi shirt) before Late Nite. Then we headed over to the church after spending about 45 minutes or so in Target.

Late Nite was absolutely amazing. It was exactly what I needed to hear. Though I realize that pretty much every message is "exactly what I needed to hear." Last night's message was about leaving all your baggage behind, and traveling light when you follow Christ. As part of the service, we were given an index card to write down our "baggage" that was holding us back from fully trusting in Christ. It was a very freeing feeling to write down my baggage, and then give it over to God. After that there was just an awesome feeling of worship. I now understand why it's important to fellowship.

After the worship service, we ate. Oh how amazing was that food (and free!) We had delicious chicken, with homemade mashed potatoes!!!! oh and lets not forget the green bean casserole. It was like my favorite food night! I love it. After that we were all going to hang out and watch a movie at the BCM. Of course, I took pretty much a whole to-go box full of mashed potatoes home, and Caroline had left her laptop in my room. So on the way to the BCM we swung by my room. The minute I walked in, I could smell it. Marijuana. Caroline couldn't smell it. So I went out and quietly told my RA that I could smell it. So she came in, pretending like she was just there to say hi, and told me she couldn't smell anything. AHHH! So I was like well maybe it's just me. Oh, by the way, my roommates friend just kinda invited herself over to stay the night. So she was there when this whole thing happened. She had been there since pretty much Caroline came over. Let's just say that this particular friend is not my favorite person in the whole world. Besides being absolutely whiny, she also had the nerve to make fun of me RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! So anyway, figuring that it was just a figment of my imagination, we headed over to the BCM. One of the interns was watching a football game, and he refused to go anywhere else. Well most of us got pretty bored, so we left. When I came back, I could still smell it. I knew they had smoked in my room, I just couldn't prove it.

Fast forward to earlier today. I was sitting in class talking to my roommate via AIM, and I asked her flat out if they had smoked in my room. She told me they did!!! I knew I was right. So I told her that if she was going to smoke, that was her choice. She just couldn't do it in my room.

The point is, I was right!

Anyway. Now I'm in the library, just hanging out. I work tonight. That's not gonna be that much fun. Oh well, at least I don't have class until 2 tomorrow.

Psalms 30:5 His anger is but for a moment, His favor is for life; Weeping may endure for a night, But joy comes in the morning.

so before I start, I just want to point out that Jennifer Love Hewitt with a British accent is just bizarre. Some Lifetime movie. BAHAHAHA I've never seen a British Lifetime movie. This is hilarious.

Anyway.

Today was interesting. This whole weekend turned out to be low-key. That's just fine with me. After the past couple weeks, I definitely needed this. I was gonna do a little shopping today, but I decided against it. Instead I just lazed around.

It was a hard day, though. I really got the urge to go dancing. I wanted to pretty badly. I even went as far as to call people to find out what was going on. In the end, I just wasn't in the mood to go pretty much anywhere. So I went to sleep, instead. The problem is, the temptation was so strong. Had it not been for my laziness, I would have gone out. I probably would have had a few drinks, and tomorrow I would have regretted it. I'm absolutely ecstatic that I didn't go out, don't get me wrong. I wrestled with the temptation all day. It seems to me that if it isn't one thing, it's something else. To quote Elizabethtown: "If it wasn't this, it'd be something else." It seems that Satan is trying everything to push me back down. I'm just so exhausted of it. Can't I just have a break?

On the up side, despite the dilemma I had all day, I wasn't depressed. I feel completely different. Though I am struggling, I'm not feeling sad. I don't feel beaten. I don't feel hopeless. Even though I have the temptation, I know that I am strong enough to resist. I know that it won't bring me down.

That's an amazing feeling.

nor‧mal /ˈnɔrməl/conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural.

Today was a good day.

It was normal. I felt great! I got to sleep in until about 1. That felt so good. I haven't slept better in a long time. I hung around my room for a while, then I went to walmart to get some necessities. After that, I did some laundry. It's a great feeling to have clean clothes! Then, I caught up on That 70s Show. While doing that, I pretty much finished my knitting. It was just a very relaxing day.

Unfortunately, I'm still not keeping up with my devotions. I really need to start doing them.

So I'm at work tonight, and I'm dispatching. There is no team from 1-230, so I get to leave an hour early. That's exciting. The last team of the night just came in, they go home in 15 minutes. That gives me an hour pretty much to myself. Woohoo for that. I'm excited that Morgan left for the weekend. It gives me a weekend to myself. We're watching some show called The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. I've never heard of it, it's kinda bizarre. It's like a western-scifi-comedy show. Very odd.

Anyway. I guess I'm gonna post this now.