You are my strength when I am weak.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

that is a sigh of relief. I'm so glad this week is over. It was just one of those weeks where everything piled up. The stress of studying for exams, lack of sleep, and personal issues were just weighing me down. I'm so thankful this week is over. I'm looking forward to babysitting tomorrow. I think I'll go to the gym, too. I also plan on going to the gym on saturday. I really want to do this for myself. I think at first I wanted to do this for the wrong reasons. I go through periods of horrible self-esteem when it comes to the way my body looks. And then I look around me and see all my beautiful friends, and I just wish that I weighed a lot less. So that was kind of my motivation to start going back. I realize that everyone struggles with self-esteem for one reason or another, and this is my thing. I think, though, that I don't care so much anymore about how other people see me. It's more about how I feel about myself. It's also taking a toll on my health. I'm tired a lot, and very inactive. I don't want to be like that anymore.

This week was kind of an eye-opener for me. Not just academically, but personally, too. This is the first time in a long time that I don't have a relationship defining my life. I don't have someone to fall back on when I get like I was this week. I don't have someone to keep going back to. In my last post, I mentioned about someone being in my thoughts, and for the first time since I can remember, it wasn't in the way that he usually is. It's hard to explain, but it was actually a pretty liberating feeling. I won't go into much detail, but suffice to say at a time when I normally would have broken down and called him, I was in a place where I didn't need to. I knew that I was strong enough to handle this on my own.

God has been amazing to me this week.