you give love a bad name

I can't help but wonder what this means. If it means anything at all.

Last night when I got home from work I wasn't tired. So I decided to do some stuff online. At one point, I thought to myself how much I missed having Chris to talk to at 3 a.m. when I couldn't sleep. Today, at 3 o'clock, actually, he got online. I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but it seems kinda odd to me. He's in georgia for basic training, and has to wait to get a pass so he can check his email and all that. Apparently, they lost 2 passes, so it's been about 6 weeks since I've heard from him. During the course of our conversation, he told me that he missed me, and mentioned a few times that he was sad that I hadn't written him. He also told me that I'm the only person outside of his family whom he's given his address to. I'm not quite sure why he would tell me that. I just don't know.

Then I started to wonder if this is how my life will always be. Will I always be attracted to men that are unavailable in one form or another? A few guys have been emotionally unavailable, some have had girlfriends or were interested in other girls, and now Chris is physically unavailable because he's in the army. Is that what I'm destined for? Is this how all my relationships are going to be? That scares me. I wonder if I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life.