from the broken earth flowers come up pushing through the dirt

Hmm. There's a couple things going on, and I don't know where to start. I guess I'll start with the good and end with the bad, eh?

I found out that Jonathan is planning on going to London in a few months. And apparently, he's planning on living there for a while after college. Which was something we had talked about doing together, I guess it never occurred to me that he'd do it without me. But the good part is this: when I got down to it, and was honest with myself, it didn't affect me. I was apathetic towards it. Normally, I would have been sad because they were plans we'd kinda made together. I guess this means that I've moved on. :)

So I went to church tonight. And it was. I don't know what it was. It just was. In a way, it was good. I knew that I had gone for a reason. The pastor that spoke wasn't the normal pastor, so it was different. But the message was good. It was on how we should respond to pain and suffering. It was a good message. And Tammy Trent was there. The first concert I'd ever been to, she opened for Petra. I was 9. But I digress. I got to hear her testimony, so that was cool. But I wasn't really in the mood for a concert. I wanted to go worship. Let me just say that our worship band (it's not really a band) consists of a guy and three girls with a guitarist and a drummer. And they're good, but not for worship. See, when I'm worshipping, I like to sing with the band, not be led by the guy with the microphone. That's not worship to me. I don't need to be instructed on what to do. If I want to clap, I'll clap. If I want to lift my hands, I will. If not, then please just let me worship in my own way. But I feel like it's a sing along and he's the ring leader. All in all, not a good worship atmosphere. And I don't know why, but they take awesome worship songs and tweak them so that they're hard to sing. I don't know, maybe I'm just being picky. It's hard to believe, because before I left here, I fell in love with this church. But now that I've got a church that I go to on a regular basis, and I love the worship service there, this church just doesn't feel right to me.

I guess I'll just keep praying about it and see what happens.