I gotta be cool, relax.

I got bored today, so my sister and I headed out of the house. We decided to try on cocktail dresses at the mall (that just shows how much there is to do here.) While putting a dress on (or taking it off, I don't remember) over my head, I managed to scrape skin off of my forehead with my thumbnail.

Yes, I am just that cool. So now I have a huge red scratch down my forehead.

Do you ever have those days where you just feel like crying? I do. Today (rather the past few days) has been one of those times. It's not PMS, and there's no particular reason. I just feel as if I need a good cry. I'm not even sad! Ah, well. Such is life I suppose.

So last night's attempt at going to sleep early didn't turn out so well. I made the mistake of turning on the television. I have this thing about coming into my bedroom in complete darkness, so the plan was to turn on the tv for light and then shut it off once I got settled. But of course, I turned it on and something good was on tv. One of those "how-to" shows, or a forensics files show or something. Anyway. Then I discovered a show on VH1. Top 40 Reality TV Moments. Oh man. I had heard there was a spot about Jen from Big Brother on there, with her tantrum about her picture. Well of course I had to see that. And of course, it was moment number four or something like that. Which meant I had to watch 2 hours. So yeah.

Well tonight is going to be a little different. My mom has a doctor's appointment in the morning, and my sister and I are going with her. So no matter what time I go to sleep, I have to be up around 7:30 or so. I still haven't developed any kind of routine, and I'm still not doing my quiet time.

So I knew when I started college that it wouldn't last forever and that eventually real life would settle in. I just didn't expect it to happen while I was still in college. The number of friends I have that are either engaged or married have exceeded two hands. One friend is leaving to spend a year in England doing missionary work. I was just informed that another friend is planning on moving to Canada in a year to be a missionary. I can still remember a time in my life when the days dragged on and it felt like forever. Now, it's like where did the time go? It seems like just yesterday I was starting the summer and now it's pretty much over.

UGH.

Why does it seem like when things are finally going well, life throws a curve ball at me? I was seeing this guy about two years ago, I suppose. We dated briefly (for about a month) and it was during the time in my life where I was trying to fill the void with a relationship. So basically for me, this guy was awesome. I thought that things were going well and that we were gonna be together for a while. During that spring break I went to Miami with my sister (my dad went on a conference.) I didn't hear from this guy much at all, and when I did it was because I called him. Well when I got back, it was as if nothing was wrong. Things went back to normal. Then one night, about a week later he took me out to dinner. Told me that he didn't think we should see each other anymore. He thought our relationship was just about sex (which it kinda was, but at that time I didn't see it.) I was heartbroken at the time. He then asks me if I'd like to go play pool with some of his friends (who were I suppose my friends through him.) I went. Because I was dumb and thought that maybe it would make him change his mind. It didn't. It turns out that he had been planning to break up with me for about 2 or 3 weeks and had even told his friends. I haven't heard from him in about a year. Well all of a sudden he IMs me. Last I had heard (which was about a 9 months ago) he had a girlfriend whom he was living with and they were happy. Well this didn't really affect me. Until now, apparently. I guess they broke up a couple weeks ago. Now he wants to take me to dinner. Now I feel like crying and screaming. I don't want to be mean, but I really want to be like "dude you broke up with me and ruined your chance." But I don't want to be mean. Ugh. I don't know. There was a time when I would have just said it. Instead, when he asked if I was seeing anyone, I told him that I didn't want to get involved because I was only here temporarily. Let's hope that works. Just ugh.

I quit. It's 1:30 and I need at least 6 hours to function and I'll probably only get 5 1/2. Thank God for Michael Buble. He's helping me keep my mind off of how frustrating this is.