I've done it all, I've seen it all but I can't find a feeling like that

1 a.m. and I find myself not ready for sleep. Tired, yes. Just not ready for sleep. Instead I find myself reflecting on events in my life over the past year or so. I realize that this is something I do quite often, and I can't help but wonder if most people think about this kind of stuff as often as I do. I suppose this time is different than most. This time, thinking about this doesn't make me sad, and I don't feel regretful. Instead, I'm pretty happy with the way things have been going. Sure I've had my moments, it wouldn't be worth it if I didn't would it? It's odd because there was a time in my (short) life where I used to say that I don't regret things that I've done because they've brought me where I am. Then there was a time after that where I felt as if I should regret things that I've done, and I tried, really I did. But when I was honest with myself, I don't know that I could say I regret those things. Do I wish I had done things differently? Sure, but doesn't everyone? I think part of the thrill of doing certain things is that you don't know where it's going to lead you or how it's going to affect you. That's also scary. There was another time where I wasn't willing to admit to myself that things that I had done were mistakes. I used to say that I never made mistakes, only wrong decisions. One could argue that they're the same thing, but that doesn't matter. Man, I was naive. Of course I make mistakes, everyone does. That's life. I still make mistakes. I suppose that, currently, I don't but that's because I'm not really making any major decisions at this point. Most of them are already made, and the rest I'm a few months off from having to make. But I am still reaping the consequences of mistakes I've made as recently as April. It's funny because that's one decision that I do regret. And I do realize that it's a mistake. However, I think what makes this time different than the rest is that instead of dwelling on this mistake, and letting it control my life, I see it for what it is, and I'm over it. This is very different from how I'm used to handling things. Could it be that I've grown? That I've actually matured? Unthinkable! It's a good feeling.