Brokenness is what I long for.... Or at least I should.

in a conversation with my friend (in reference to my last post) she said something that made me stop and think. When she was faced with a situation similar to mine, her friend had told her that God desires brokenness. This was something that I had never considered before. In fact, I wasn't really even aware of this. It kind of freaks me out. I've been broken before, and it's awful. I think knowing that makes it even harder. How can I pray to be broken when I don't want to be broken? Well, I do and I don't. Spiritually, I do because I know that it will make things better. Physically/emotionally? I'd rather walk on broken shards of glass.

This is what I'm struggling with now. I know that in order to get past this hurdle, I have to become broken. I know it's what I need. But it scares me, and because of that, it makes it harder for me to desire that.