God above all my hopes and fears. I don't care what the world throws at me now. It's gonna be alright!

It's amazing how much I was holding myself back. I didn't even realize it. I am in such awe as to how much God is working in my life. I'm constantly reminded of how blessed I am. I can say that for the first time in a long time, honestly, I am happy. I can't remember feeling like this over the past year. I feel as if I've grown so much, and learned so much. I've made a decision to take an active role in my life. Unfortunately that means making some decisions that, while better for me, are not exactly what I want. For example, my living situation at school. The goal this summer was to make enough money to have a car by August. Unfortunately the job situation here is less than dismal, and while I work here and there, I will probably not have enough money in a little over a month to buy a car. The point of this was going to be that with the money I get back from the school I was going to move into an apartment. Now it's looking like I'm going to have to live on campus (again) in order to be able to afford to buy a car. That is definitely something I am not looking forward to. But I know that I am going to need a car, so I don't have much choice. As much as I dislike the prospect of having to live on campus for another year, I know that it is what's best for me.

I know that I am far from where God wants me to be, but I'm trying to get there. This time I'm not sitting back expecting to just magically "get there." I've discovered that my relationship with Christ is not unlike my relationships with people. It is not a one-sided relationship. I can't expect to be able to do nothing and enjoy all the blessings of it. I have to make an effort. I'm so blessed to have friends who tell me what I need to hear, not what I want to hear.

Hopefully I can stick with it :)