if you feel alone and lost and need a friend remember every new beginning is some beginning's end

Have you ever been in a place in your life where you're just unhappy with the way things are? That's where I am. I'm just so frustrated. I suppose I should clarify. I'm 22 years old (or at least I will be in about a month.) The idea of going out every weekend and getting obliterated no longer appeals to me. I'd much rather be able to go out for dinner with friends, maybe have a margarita, and just enjoy good company and intelligent conversation. So I suppose it's not so much where I'm at in life as it is where the rest of the people around me are at. Most of my friends, while mature in their own way, still enjoy the "party" scene. Others of my friends don't drink at all, or we're not really friends. More like acquaintances. Which is another issue I'm having. But the point in my life that I'm at is that I want friends who have the same interests that I do, and enjoy the same things that I do. Not that I don't mind going out and doing random, goofy things now and again. But I'd also like to do things like visit museums, go out for coffee, things like that. I don't know. I guess it's just that the people that I'm meeting are still in the party frame of mind. The thing with not really feeling like I have many friends is bothering me. It's something that I've been struggling with for quite a while now, and it's all with the same people. Perhaps a sign that I should be branching out and meeting people on my own, instead of through people. But the thing is that these people go to my church, and I feel like I shouldn't be feeling like they're fake. Which is pretty much how I feel. I see them, and they're so nice that sometimes I'm just like COME ON! Tonight, for instance. I went to Late Nite for the first time in quite a few weeks. No one even acknowledged the fact that I hadn't been there. And it's not like I just go there, I'm supposed to be on the leadership team. The girl in charge acted like I'm there every day. It just really rubs me the wrong way. I want to use the word pretentious, because that's pretty much the only word I can think of to describe it. And it hurts, because then it's like well what's wrong with me that these people aren't good friends of mine? It's like I am unable to make/keep good friends. I have 4 good friends. And if I'm really honest with myself, only one of those people is close enough to me to even have the slightest notion of what I'm really dealing with. Growing pains suck. Especially because this thing that I've been struggling with has been affecting my faith. I can't remember the last time I prayed before tonight. I don't know the last time that I did my quiet time, when before I had been doing it on a daily basis. Late Nite was amazing for me, in the way that it just really reminded me that I'm not going through this alone. It was an amazing feeling. It was even better having Jess there, feeling the same way that I was about some things, just being a source of comfort for me. I feel like I've been depressed for the past few weeks, and now I'm starting to come out of it. Relationships, though, that's a different story. That's a depression I'm having the hardest time coming out of.