I can't come up with a catchy title.

Hrm. This is pretty much not good. I'm getting back into the habit of staying awake until about 2 a.m. and waking up around noon. For about a week and a half, I was going to sleep around 10 or 11 p.m. and waking up around 7 a.m. I pretty much liked that schedule. Don't get me wrong, it's not like I don't get enough sleep, and I am on "vacation" so to speak, but I know that if I keep this sleeping schedule the rest of break, I won't have a good sleeping schedule when I get back to school. I suppose that sometime in the next few day I'll try to get back into the schedule. For now I'm watching "20 Most Horrifying Hollywood Murders" on the E! Channel. It's pretty interesting.

So I haven't done my quiet time in a few days. I don't know what's going on. It just seems that I can't keep up with doing it on a daily basis. I can't even say that I'm too busy and I forget. Honestly, I'm not that busy during the day. I mean, God is the creator of the universe, and He still makes time for me. I can't even make time for Him on days that I don't do anything. How am I going to keep up with my quiet time on days that I have work, class, etc? Gah. I don't even know what to do with it.

Anyway. not too much else going on. Just passing the time and enjoying the time with my family.

...

Coming home in the past has always been very bittersweet for me. This time is very different. Usually coming home means being restless, it means being anxious about going back to school.

This semester has been so stressful for me. Between classes, work, personal relationships, and my brother leaving I was stretched out way too thin. I dropped the ball a lot this semester. I definitely struggled with a lot. It got to the point where not only was I not in the mood to go out and be social, but I couldn't even deal with being alone. Coming home was such a relief. It was a chance to get away from everything and everyone that was causing me anxiety.

This last week was sooo amazing. It was so great to be able to get a full night's sleep, every night. I actually have been doing my quiet time. Most importantly, I've been able to spend time with my family. It's been very weird not having my brother here, and it's a little sad, but it's still been great. I think that had this break not come right now I would probably have had a nervous break down.

Anyway. I have two weeks left at home. I don't really have any plans. I don't really have anything else to say, so I guess I'm gonna go to sleep.

Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas!!!!

I hope that people remember the real reason we celebrate this holiday. It's not the gifts, or the food, or the decorations. It's the King who was born in a barn so that He would die for the sins of you and I.

Totally Tubular!

So it's 6:15 a.m. The second day in a row that I've woken up this early after a full night's sleep. It's the best feeling in the world, a good night's sleep. I think this should happen every night!

So I knew that this past week was going to take a toll on my body/health. But I definitely didn't expect to get strep throat. I didn't even know it was going around, but I got it. Though I'm definitely not surprised. If someone within a 15 foot vicinity of me is carrying it, I'm likely to get it. Luckily, we still had the prescription from when my sister had strep throat, and I caught it early. So hopefully it won't get too bad.

Plus it gives me an excuse to be lazy :-P

Yesterday was a pretty good day. I got most of my Christmas shopping done. There's only one more person that I need to buy a gift for, but first I need to verify that we're doing a gift exchange. It would help if he would answer his flippin phone! Haha. Last night I tried calling my friend TJ to see if he wanted to get some dinner at Chili's while I was out and about but he never answered. Oh well. Just wasn't meant to be, I guess.

I don't know what all we're doing today. I know that I need to do some laundry, and my mom is baking :) Plus, tonight is third advent. So that's pretty exciting. Since it's the third one, we get to pick out a small gift from under the tree. I'm pretty excited about that!

I also borrowed my sister's Hanson Christmas cd (don't hate) and am currently uploading it on my computer to put on my ipod. All the while drinking green tea with lemon, which I'm hoping will help my poor throat.

Oh man! So last night I went shopping at Target (I LOVE THAT STORE!) and bought the coolest Trivial Pursuit game ever. It's Trivial Pursuit: Totally 80s! My family loves to play board games, especially trivial pursuit games. We own so many of them. So of course, I had to have it. Plus I got a new Target Card yesterday, so why not spend some money?! Haha, actually. The game was going to be a gift to my family, and I was going to wrap it and everything. Then I decided that I wanted to play it too badly, so I just left it unwrapped and we played it last night. Such good times! My mom, of course, is full of information that you'd never think anyone would know, and she won!

Some of my favorite family memories include playing board games.

HOORAY!

I'm so excited that this semester is finally over. I took my last exam today. I don't know how I did on it, and I don't particularly care right now. I'm sure I'll care when I get back to normal, but right now I'm just so glad that this week is over with.

Tomorrow morning at 9 I'm going to babysit Collin and Griffin. I'm pretty excited about it, they're only the cutest kids in the world. After that I have to do my checkout with my RA and then finish up whatever in my room and then I can leave.

I am so glad to be going home! Today after my exam I got to sleep. It was honestly the best sleep I've had in a long time. I didn't have to worry about waking up by a certain time, or having to wake up and study. It felt so good!

Other than sleep (rarely) and study, I haven't done much this week. Last night I did get to do some shopping, and went to steak and shake with some friends. That was a nice break from the ordinary.

I need to remember tomorrow that I have a couple Christmas cards I need to get mailed out. I also need to find my stamps and get some addresses. What I really need to do is pack. I'll do that in a little while.

I did my quiet time a few times this week, but my schedule has been so messed up that I just didn't do it. Starting tomorrow I'm gonna try to start doing in every day, at around the same time.

Anyway, I guess that's it. Gonna surf the web and listen to some Christmas music.

have you seen me and what I want to be did anybody call did anyone at all ask where I was did you tell them it's because I've been here so long

So I'm halfway through my finals. Two down, two to go.

I have to be honest, though. I have done absolutely nothing today as far as the 8 page paper that I have due tomorrow. I'm not really worried about, but I should work on it. Instead I've watched the new episode of House. I also watched How The Grinch Stole Christmas as well as like some background thing on it. I love that show! So cute!

Anyway. I'm pretty exhausted, but it's like I'm too tired to sleep. It's weird. I was in a weird mood tonight, and I ignored all phone calls after like 9. I also put up an away message and didn't talk to anyone. It felt good to just kinda be in my own world for a little while. I think that's something everyone should do for themselves once in a while.

I go home on Friday. I'm definitely ready to get away from here for a while. This semester has been pretty rough for me. It'll be great to be able to spend some time with my sister, and with the rest of my family. I'm definitely looking forward to getting into all the holiday stuff. On the 22nd, we're having our family Christmas party. This year it's at our house. I'll be able to see my cousins, and my Oma and Grandpa, and my aunts, and my uncles. One of my uncles will be home from Afghanistan, so I'm excited about that.

I'm also looking forward to doing some shopping! I can't wait for the after-Christmas specials. But mostly, I'm just looking forward to having some sort of normal sleeping pattern, and being able to spend time with my family.

I thank God every day for my family. It's going to be sad this year, though. It will be the first Christmas in my entire life that my brother hasn't been with us. That's still pretty tough, and I'm still having a hard time with the whole situation. If you're a praying person, please pray for my brother. He's so lost, with no direction for his life.

hooray for more Christmas traditions!

Sometimes all you need is to be rescued from yourself.

This weekend could have gone really badly for me.

Instead, I have amazing friends. Tonight was one of those nights where I wasn't really feeling up to being social, I just wanted to be alone. but obviously God had other plans, because I'm currently sitting in Jess' apartment at 6:08 a.m. after having only gone home for a few minutes to grab my stuff and leave again. Granted, I didn't get any of my own studying done, but that doesn't matter. I think tonight was one of those nights where I probably shouldn't have been alone. It's like, sometimes, when all you want to do is be by yourself that's the last thing that should happen. It's hard to explain. Tonight was fun, in a random sort of way. I should probably study. And I will. Just not right now. Right now I'm going to blog about nothing. Well actually, I'm going to write about another Christmas tradition, because It's technically Sunday, and today is the second Advent.

So, like I said before, my dad is German. Hence, we have a lot of German Christmas traditions. Although, I don't really know if Advent is particularly German, I'm gonna pretend it is until someone proves me wrong. Advent is the waiting period before Christ's birth. It's celebrated the four Sundays before Christmas eve. We have an advent wreath, with four taper candles, and a pillar candle in the middle. On the first Sunday we light the first candle, and on the second Sunday the second candle, and so on and so forth. On Christmas Eve we light the pillar candle in the middle of the wreath. Before my brother moved out, Advent was a whole production. My brother, sister, and I would go into a bedroom and shut the door. We would read the story of Christ's birth, and talk about it until it was time to come out. We always knew when it was time to come out because that's when we would hear the music start. When we came out of the room, our parents would have turned on all the Christmas lights, and lit all the angel chime-things (I'll try to describe those later and find out what they're called) and we would each have a tray with little candies and perhaps a small gift. On the first Advent, it was only candy. Which was fine with us. On the second Advent, a small unwrapped gift. Third Advent was a larger unwrapped gift, and by Fourth Advent there would most likely be gifts under the tree, and we would be allowed to choose one (although sometimes they were chosen for us.) Afterwards, we would all sit around and discuss the story we had read. I think it was something tat made me appreciate Christmas even more, and it's definitely a tradition that I'll carry on with my own family.

Let me breathe my strength my solace from the spring

What is it about stepping outside our comfort zone that makes us stuck in our ways?

What is it about admitting that we're wrong or need help?

Why are so good at giving advice to people in the same situation we are, yet we can't take our own advice?

This is the place I'm in. I have no idea how to ask for help. My pride gets in the way. I hate admitting that I can't do something on my own, and that damned comfort zone will be the death of me. Or at least the spiritual death of me. I see the women around me, and I the passion that they have, the relationship they have with God. I wish I could have that. I don't know how. I honestly don't know. I don't know where to begin, I always feel like I'm doing something wrong. I mean, things go well for a while. then something happens. I get sidetracked, and before I know it I'm back where I started. Why do I keep ending up like this. How do I get out of this cycle?

I believe that I mentioned somewhere before that I feel like I've lost all capacity for feeling bad or feeling guilty this semester. I wish I knew why. I wish I knew how to get it back. I know this sounds weird, but I want so badly to feel guilty! The twist is, when I do something wrong, I know that it's wrong. Not only do I know it's wrong, but I avoid telling people about it because I know that it's wrong. I don't know if I avoid telling them because I feel bad about it, or because I don't want them to judge me. I think it has more to do with being judged. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place, and I don't know what to do.

I desperately need an accountability partner, and someone who can help me get through this.

There's nothing like the joy that fills your heart when you know that you are loved.

I am in the best mood that I've been in these past few weeks. I just finished my paper!!! Not only did I finish it, but I happen to think it's pretty good!

Aside from that, it's almost finals week, which means that it's almost time to go home!!!! I go home in 9 days, and I'm so excited! Plus, I get to see my family on Saturday, which I'm pretty stoked about. I found out that I'm getting an 81 in one of my classes (which is definitely NOT what I thought I was getting!) and so now I don't have to take the extra credit quiz tomorrow! Which means I don't have to read an unnecessary book, which will only take up brain space that needs to be filled with information pertinent to my finals.

So seeing as how it's December 6th (rather, it's 2:50 a.m. on December 7th, but I still haven't slept, so it's December 6th to me), I think I'll share one of my favorite childhood Christmas traditions. I must preface this by saying that my dad is German, so this is a German tradition.

December 6th was always the night in our house that Niklaus came, because that's the day that he came in Germany. Niklaus is the German Santa Claus. As kids we'd always get so excited! Of course, Niklaus couldn't come until it was dark, because he never traveled in the daylight. But that never stopped us from asking when he was coming! It was the biggest thing in our house! And we always knew when he was coming because he would ring bells. We listened for the bells pretty much as soon as the sun set. Niklaus would bring us bags with gifts and candy, and would set the bags by the door. As soon as we heard the bells we knew that he had brought the gifts. The first thing we did was run to the window to get a glimpse of him! It was the best feeling in the world when we saw Niklaus walking away in his red suit with his beard and his black boots in the snow. One year he even had a sleigh with a horse! Then of course we brought in our bags and proceeded to sort through our Christmas treasures! Those are memories that I will never forget, and traditions that I will carry out with my own children.

Perhaps I will share mor traditions as Christmas gets closer :)

I don't know where to go from here, except I do.

So it's 3 a.m. and I'm hanging out at the BCM. I'm not really sure why I'm here, actually. I should be at home either sleeping or working on my paper. But I'm doing neither. I should be working on my paper here, but I'm not. Instead I'm just sitting around doing nothing. In like two hours we're gonna go check the line for tickets to the football game, and after that I don't know what. If she needs me to, I'll stand in line with Jess so I can get a ticket with my ID cuz she doesn't have hers.

Anyway. Things are weird. I don't know, maybe because it's the end of the semester or because I'm extremely stressed. Either way it's a weird feeling. I haven't done my quiet time since Saturday, even though I keep saying that I'm going to. It's possible that I'm going to throw my shoes on and grab my sweater and go outside and spend some time with God, but we'll see how that goes, too.

I'm at a really weird place relationship-wise. A while ago I made the decision that I wasn't going to date anyone and I really meant it. I felt (and still feel) that I'm not in a place to be in a relationship. I don't have the time nor energy to devote to a relationship. Plus I'm not in any place spiritually to be in a relationship. I can't even keep focused on God while I'm single, there's no way I could balance that and a relationship.

Despite knowing all that, I so desperately want the intimacy that comes with a relationship. I want the friendship, and the romance, and above all the intimacy. Sometimes it doesn't bother me that much, then others it's just an overwhelming feeling. It can also sometimes be an uncomfortable feeling, and I find myself being envious of friends who are in a relationship.

I know that this is a period of growth and that God is trying to teach me something. Unfortunately, I'm not moving forward very much. In fact, I might be moving slightly backwards, or at the very least standing still.

I don't know where to go from here, except I do.

Restless..... and it's only 9:30 a.m.

Do you ever feel that you were meant for something more, something bigger?

The kind of restless I'm talking about isn't the typical "can't sit still" restless. It's a restlessness in my heart. A feeling that right here, right now isn't what God has meant for me.

I love this place, I love my friends, but I want more. I want bigger.

When I was living at home, before I came to school, someone who was once a good friend told me that I didn't belong in that town. He said that it was too small for me, and it was true. But even the restlessness I felt then isn't the same as the kind I feel now.

It's hard, because on one hand I just want to be finished with school, and start my life. On the other hand, I want to make the best of college, I want to soak in the experience, and I want to grow. I know I'm not ready to be done with school. I just can't help but feel restless once in a while.

5 Untold Truths About Me

1. I am stubborn.

2. I hate admitting when I'm wrong.

3. Sometimes I get freaked out in the dark.

4. I have a hard time getting close to people even though I seem to have a lot of friends.

5. I hate asking for help (so when I ask for help it means I really need it)

I so hate consequences

True to form, I put off doing my papers until the very last minute. the very last minute. I finished the first paper two hours before it was due to be emailed. So I emailed that sucker and went to sleep for three hours. That gave me 6 hours before my next paper was due. Technically 7 hours, but I was aiming for an hour early so I had time to fix errors and print it out and whatnot. Well imagine my surprise when the 8 page paper I set down to write ended up being assigned as a 10 page paper. That should have been my first sign. But I figured, no problem I can get this done. I was wrong. I read the book that the aper was on, and then I drafted out a quick outline and began typing my "think" paper. With a paper like that, you'd think it would be easy to type up ten pages, double spaced. 4 o'clock rolled around and I was finished. There was only one problem. It was only 5 pages, and despite everything I tried, I just couldn't get it to ten pages. So I had to make a hard decision. I could pray and pray that in one hour I could type five whole pages and print it out and get it in on time and have it be at the very most a C or D paper. Or, I could put it aside and work on it this weekend and make it an A or B paper, and take a full letter grade reduction for handing it in late. Unfortunately I have to take the reduction because there was no way I was getting that done by 6 o'clock. But that leaves me this weekend to work on it, plus I have a test in the same class on Monday, so I need to study for that. oh the stress. But, I did this to myself, so now I just have to deal with the consequences, even though they suck. Hopefully next time I'll remember how stressful this was and get my stuff done (or at least started) early!

I'm getting ready to go grab something to eat and then head to work for the early shift. I really need to make some money and I've picked up a few shifts this week for bill money and Christmas money. So that was a blessing. Luckily, all my shifts are base shifts, which means that I can take my study guide into work tonight and fill in all the answers. I can't wait for this semester to be over. I'm so ready to be done with these dumb law classes and get into my criminology stuff! So excited! I'm mostly looking forward to sleeping tonight! I'll probably spend all day tomorrow filling in answers on my study guide. Hooray for Saturdays!

It's lovely weather for a sleigh ride (I wish!)

I've come to the conclusion that people have little detectors that go off whenever I decide to have some "me" time. I've been exhausted for the past few days, so today after my classes I decided I was going to sleep until I felt better and then work on my papers. I went to sleep at 2 and woke up at 7. I still haven't gotten around to writing my papers, but since 2, I've received phone calls from 5 different people, one person has called about 4 times, and gotten two text messages. Understand that this is highly unusual for me. Normally, I only receive about 2 phone calls in an entire day and maybe one text message. Now, one friend I can understand because she's having an especially hard time lately, but as for the others, COME ON! This is ridiculous. If I don't answer the phone the first two times, chances are good that I'm not going to answer the third, fourth, or fifth times either. Also, I've had an away message up pretty much all day and I haven't talked to anyone. It's just been some good "me" time. Except I haven't worked on either of my papers at all, which is not good. They're both due on Friday, one at 10 a.m. and the other by 6 p.m. Ugh. Guess what I'll be doing tomorrow?

Anyway. It's 2:30 a.m. and I'm going to go back to sleep. I'm tired again.

Hooray for hot cocoa and Christmas music!

a beautiful collision is happening now

I hate the way my fingers are stiff when I wake up in the morning.

Hooray for an amazing God!

Last night I picked up an early shift at work. What a blessing! I also picked up a few shifts in the coming week. That will definitely be so great. It will help out with the money that I've spent, and with money for Christmas. Plus I keep forgetting that I get to sell my books back soon!

Last night I got off work at 11:30, and I ended up going to Jess' apartment to hang out with her and stay the night. It was definitely very much what I needed. It wasn't anything profound, we just hung out but it was great after not having seen anyone for a week.

gah.

So much to say but the words won't come!

I have class today at 2, and another at 4. I have two papers due this week, one on Thursday and one on Friday. The one on Friday came as a big surprise because I thought it was due next week and I had absolutely no clue what it was supposed to be about. So that's kinda crappy, but it'll get done. I have no choice. The other paper is one I've known about for a few weeks, but as usual, I put it off til the last possible minute.

UGH! I hate growing up and becoming an adult. There's too much responsibility. I will gladly trade the "freedoms" of living on your own for the lack of responsibility that comes with not being an adult.

I think the thing that hurts me more than anything else is when I see my friends hurting and I don't know what to do to help, or even worse there's nothing I can do to help.

Definitely NOT studying :(

so I'm in the library. It's 8:30. Obviously I didn't go to Late Nite. I need to study for this test so that I can get a decent grade and keep my gpa up. It's not that I haven't gotten anything done, it's just that it's coming along slowly. I've got my Starbucks mug, full of coffee that's chock full of sugar, vanilla, and cinnamon. I'm doing this review so slowly. It's just not interesting. I honestly don't know how this is going to keep my attention at all! It doesn't help that the study rooms are like 4 feet away and the group of people inside one of them is really loud. She keeps laughing loudly and getting all excited. It's pretty distracting. At least I remembered to bring my headphones so I can listen to music. My friend is flying back into town and she's going to join me here and we're going to have a "library party"! I must say I'm pretty excited. After a week at home, I'm ready to see someone that's not family! haha.

So, last night I was sitting in my bed, playing on my computer and watching television. Chris IMed me. It was kinda odd. He kinda acted like nothing happened at first. So I flat out asked him why I hadn't heard from him for two weeks. He claimed he thought I 'was mad at him' and then pointed out that I hadn't IMed him either. When I asked why he thought I was mad at him, he didn't answer then said that he was going to watch tv and would talk to me later. Shockingly, he hasn't IMed me. I'm pretty okay with that.

Mmm. So I'm officially a criminology major. That's pretty exciting. I get to take my basic criminology classes next semester. I have a feeling that next semester will go better than this one.

YAY! the noisy group left. Now I might be able to focus a little more. Ha. Who am I kidding? Oh well, I'll get some stuff done. Eventually. For now, I'll continue to pretend I'm doing something. Maybe I'll run downstairs and get more coffee. I think I'll bite the bullet and ask the guy two tables over to watch my stuff. I hate doing stuff like that, but 1) I don't feel comfortable just leaving my stuff and 2) I refuse to pack up my stuff just to go get more coffee, especially because I have a table right by an outlet. Curses.

there's a smile when the pain comes, the pain's gonna make everything alright

This week has been good for me. I didn't get to do the things I had planned, but I'm okay with that. I was supposed to study for a test and hang out with an old friend. I did neither of those. I did spend lots of time with my family, and I watched two movies that I've never seen. I saw You, Me, and Dupree and Over The Hedge. They were both really funny and cute.

This week was very relaxing. It was very good for me, helped me put a lot of things into perspective. I don't know, leaving is kinda bittersweet. As Jess put it, I'm not "ready for normal life." I just want this semester to be over. I want to find another job and not have to worry about this dumb job.

I don't know. I'm in a weird mood. It's a mix between PMS, anxiety, and like a happy sadness. I'm having a really hard time with this whole "friend" situation. If it's true that in the past few weeks I've learned who my real friends are then that means that I'm not left with very many real friends.

wow. so I just realized that I haven't done my quiet time at all this week. I haven't spent any time with God. I honestly don't know what my problem is. There were actually a couple of days where it never occurred to me to even do it. Actually, I don't think there were any days that it occurred to me that I should do it. I mean, why do I feel like I "should" do it? Before this week, it wasn't even a matter of should or shouldn't. It was honestly something that I wanted. I don't know what changed.

This post is a bunch of ramblings that probably won't make much sense to anyone except me.

I hate it when you feel like crying but the tears won't come. The worst part is that most of this is probably attributed to PMS. I feel like I need something but I don't know what.

"I can see a light that is coming for the heart that holds on. And there will be an end to these troubles, but until that day comes still I will praise You."

Weeping may endure for the night, but joy comes in the morning.

It's the greatest feeling when God puts people into your life who help you to be a better person.

I know You're alive, You came to fix my broken life and I sing to glorify Your holy name, Jesus Christ.

I'm so thankful for all the blessings in my life. Sometimes I may not always see them, and I may not always act that way, but I am aware that they're continually coming my way.

On second thought, maybe I am ready to go back to normal life.

33 days til christmas!

There's nothing like coming home.

Nothing can compare to the feeling of home. I love being here. I know that I've complained about heing home, and that by the time I leave, I'll probably be ready to go, but for now I'm just so happy to be here. It's definitely a needed break from the stress of school and life in general.

I missed my mom so much. I'm so excited about spending time with her and doing all the holiday stuff with her. On Saturday we're going to put up our Christmas tree, I think. I'm so super excited about it!

Anyway. I'm probably going to go to sleep now.

I Stole this from Ellie (and changed the return directions)

1. What time is it? 3:48 p.m.
2. Full Name? Amber
3. What do you fear most? Spiders, and being alone
4. What do you drive? When I go home, it's a Ford Taurus, when I'm at school, nothing
5. Have you ever seen a ghost? No, I don't believe in ghosts
6. Where were you born? New Mexico
7. Ever been to Alaska? No
8. Ever been toilet papering rolling in decorating trees? No
9. Croutons or Bacon bits? Bacon Bits
10. Favorite day of the week: Sunday
11. Favorite restaurant: Olive Garden, but I'm really missing home cooked meals
12. Favorite Flower: Lily
13. Favorite sport to watch: football
14. Favorite Drink: Margarita...(oh good answer ellie!) other than that, sweet tea
15. Favorite Ice cream: strawberry
16. Disney or Warner Brothers: I don't really care
17. Favorite fast food restaurant: mmmmmm Chick fil a or Subway
18. What color is your bedroom carpet? uhh this ugly dark gray
19. How many times you failed your driver's test? none
20. Before this one, who did you get your last e-mail from? (well this wasn't an email) but the last one was from the director of the BCM
21. What do you do most often when you are bored? uhh sleep? that's probably what I do
22. Bedtime: whenever I either a) get tired or b) get home
23. Who will respond to this email the quickest? I have no clue
24. Who is the person you sent this to that is least likely to respond? Doesn't apply
25. Who is the person that you are most curious to see their responses? Pretty much everyone
26. Favorite TV show? Grey's Anatomy
27. Ford or Chevy? it really doesn't matter to me
28. What are you listening to right now? my new cd, "Become What You Believe" by Last Tuesday
29. What are your favorite colors? Pink, Purple, and black
30. How many tattoos do you have? four!
31. Do you have any pets? I have a cat at home
32. Which came first the chicken or the egg? Chicken
33. What would you like to accomplish before you die? wow... I'd really like to impact (read:change) the world, but smaller than that, I'd like to finish college, get married, have a family, and lead people to Christ
34. How many people are you sending this e-mail to? I'm not, I am going to post it on my blog.
35. If you could go anywhere real or not where would you go? I really want to go to Italy, Greece, New York, and Germany
36. If you could meet anyone in the world, who would it be? hmm, Jon Bon Jovi, David Crowder, Mac Powell (actually all of Third Day), Bono (from U2), the man I'm going to marry, Ellie, Hillsong, and there's more but I can't think of them
37. What time is it now? 3:56 p.m.

RETURN DIRECTIONS: Since this is no longer an "email" questionnaire (i like that word), I've changed the directions. Copy and paste this into your own blog (no matter where it is) and put in your own answers. let me know that you did it so I can go check out your answers!

That's what Christmas means to me

ah! so proud of myself! well, kinda. I'm currently in the library. What am I doing in the library you ask? Well I'll tell you. I'm studying!

don't have a heart attack, I know it's a shock. It is to me, too. I've got my laptop (obviously!), my constitutional law book, all my study guide stuff, and Christmas music! That's right, I said Christmas music. You better believe that it's not too early to be listening to Christmas music. I'm really super excited about the holidays. I can't wait to see my family! I'm going home on probably Tuesday. I get to help decorate for Christmas!!!!! I'm so flippin excited, I'm gonna take so many pictures! I wish it would stay cold, it was 81 degrees yesterday! That is not holiday weather! But even that can't get me down! I'm feeling so much better!

I'm sleeping better, getting enough and not sleeping all day. I can't remember the last time I took a nap in the middle of the day! (yeah yeah it was last week, whatever) I've been to every class thus far, and I'm even paying attention. It's pretty great. I've officially decided to switch my major to criminology, and I have an appointment on Monday with the advisor so I can figure out what classes I need to sign up for next semester. I'm also picking up a few shifts here and there at work. I spent a lot more money than I planned on in the past week or so, and I need to make it back. Especially considering Christmas is coming up and I have a few gifts I need to purchase. Mainly for family. There's only a few friends getting actual gifts (not because of money but because there's only a few people that have been good enough friends to actually warrant a gift. The rest of my friends are getting cards and probably cookies. I'm really super excited because tomorrow is the Sanctus Real concert!!!! I can't wait!!!!

Anyway, I know I promised Ellie a post about my family's Christmas traditions, but that's gonna be a whole separate post. I'm getting ready to head back to my room and do some more work there. I'll probably end up posting again before the night is through.