God is just blessing me all over the place

so today was a busy one, and I'm not sure how long this post will be. Officially, my day didn't start until about noon. I got home about 20 minutes ago, maybe 30. I had class at 2, before that I went to the bookstore to pick up a few things. I bought earbuds for my ipod and Confessions of A Shopaholic, which I've been looking forward to reading for like a year now. I'm taking four classes this semester, and they seem pretty hard. I think I may drop one and take it when my course load isn't so bad. After class I had to run to wal-mart and pick up balloons for our welcome back party. That started at 7, and we left around 10. 7 of us went to Applebees for half-off appetizers. It was a great time. I pretty much love all the guys that we hung out with at Applebees. Of course, Caroline and I were the only girls, so it was pretty great. After that, four of us went back to the BCM to hang out for an hour or so. It was a pretty great day. I got called in to work, and I was gonna go. Then, I called the office and it turns out we had closed for the night, probably because of the storm, but probably also because no one came in. So I think maybe tomorrow after class I'll head over and try to get the early shift.

Tyler - if you still read this, I dunno. Thanks for the comment! I always love knowing that people are reading.

If anyone reads this (even if it's just once) leave a comment and let me know! I love feedback!

Lue - It's an awesome experience, and I'm so excited to be back in class! I hope things are going well for you and your family. Have you heard anything about that job interview?

Anyway, I guess that's it for tonight. I'm pretty tired and I have class in 9 hours.

I will praise You in this storm

I'm having a hard time finding the good in all of this. I just can't understand God's reasoning. I don't even know the reasoning, and to me it seems like there is none.

My brother is moving to Colorado. Indefinitely. And I just can't understand why. I won't go into too much detail, but suffice to say that his family out there are not good influences on him. I understand that he wants to spend time with them, especially since he's trying to get into the navy, but I honestly don't see how any good can come of this. I know he told me that he doesn't want to end up like his dad, and how he can always come home if he wants, but this just seems like a bad idea to me. I don't know if he has a good relationship with God, and I know for a fact that his dad doesn't. So I just don't see how this is going to help. I think, if anything, this will just prolong the amount of time that he doesn't have a relationship. I don't know, I'm just really upset about this. I feel like I'm being selfish, but I'm just so worried about him. I know that I don't always have the best relationship with my brother, but I love him and I would rather die than see him turn out like his father.

Oh, and I'm locked out of my bathroom.

I may have exaggerated just a bit

So tonight I was supposed to go to a bible study. Which I was looking forward to. At least until it dawned on me that not only would I have to take a shower, but I'd also have to be social. I'm just really not up to it tonight. I'd much rather just hang out at home. This morning when I woke up, I felt like I was losing my voice, but I just think that it was from all the running and whatnot yesterday. Now that I've had time to rest, I feel much better. Plus, Morgan left me her dvd case, and I have my movies, so I'm sure that's how I'll spend my night tonight. I absolutely don't mind that. Morgan left for the weekend, so it'll give me a chance to just relax and spend some time to myself.

I went and picked up my books. Unfortunately, I only got books for one class. The rest of my books haven't come in yet. At least they're paid for. I also picked up a cooling pad for my laptop. I can already tell that it's working, because my computer isn't hot! Who knew? I wish there was a way I could attach it to my computer, but at least I finally got one.

Anyway, I'm gonna get back to doing nothing.

awesomeness!

Yesterday was definitely an awesome day, even though I was running all day. My leadership meeting began at 10, and that was great fun. I learned a lot about what's expected of the leaders this semester. We also got to go prayer walking! So I was uber excited about that. I got to hang out with two people that I really didn't know that well, and I was pretty happy about that too! God just revealed himself to us in so many ways. The best two were the last two people that we talked to, an evangelist named Lester prayed for us! And the last girl we talked to, Kim, sat with us for half an hour and was really receptive. It was really cool! After that we were supposed to help people move in, but it started pouring. It was pretty refreshing, but I got completely soaked. When I got back to the BCM I had to borrow clothes from some of the interns, which is pretty funny because I was wearing pj pants that were pretty much too big for me. And that's how I finished the meeting, which got out half an hour late. After that we needed to set up for the coffeehouse, and I ran home for like 5 minutes to grab a change of clothes. Everything went pretty smoothly. We lost our amps right in the beginning, but the band was absolutely amazing. Praise God for that! Everyone had a great time, and I finally got to come home around midnight. I was absolutely exhausted last night. I wasn't even up for hanging out afterwards, and that's so sad! Today is a pretty mellow day. It's storming, so I don't think I'll be going anywhere any time soon. I'm gonna need to take a shower, because my hair is dirty. Tonight there's a bible study that I might go to, but I haven't decided yet.

I missed Big Brother, but I know that James went home, and I'm pretty freakin excited about that! Anyway, I think if the storm lets up I'm gonna go pick up my books today.

That's it!

It's like a kick in the pants

So I have a little more time to blog before I go to bed. Today was a pretty good day. I got to meet my roommate (obviously cuz I wrote about that before) I think we're going to get along just fine.

So work was pretty cool. I got paid for 2 1/2 hours. And basically I filled a couple trash bags, caught up on all the stuff that was going on, learned that I was going to be promoted (!!!) and sat on a couch talking to my boss. Ooh, I also found out that my boss wants me to go on this team retreat or something. Basically she told me that she only invites people that she thinks are serious about their jobs and are going somewhere. That was like the best compliment ever. Plus, the retreat thing is free! So that's pretty exciting.

Umm, I talked to Joe and got some stuff figured out. Some pretty important stuff. Like, I'm pretty sure that throughout our conversations, God was just kicking me in the pants going "HES NOT THE ONE!" so yeah. Maybe it was just indigestion. But I hadn't eaten for like 5 hours, so who knows. I'm gonna go with it being God kicking me in the pants. I love that phrase, it's quite fun. I've decided that I'm going to create a blog specifically for my family to read so that they can keep up with all my goings on. I'll probably do that Friday though, cuz tomorrow is like uber busy.

Speaking of, I have to wake up in 7 1/2 hours, so I should probably head to bed.

this is gonna be short, but it's an update!

I've gotta go to work soon, so this is gonna be short.

My roommate moved in today. She's cute, but I'm still a little weary. Of course, I think that's normal. We'll see how things go.

Going to work tonight is a fluke. We're closed this week, but we moved our office, so my boss called me and asked me to come in and help clean and move some stuff. So that's exciting, I'll have a little bit of money on my next paycheck, which is always nice.

I DIDN'T GET TO SEE BIG BROTHER LAST NIGHT!!!!!!!

I'm so upset. My sister filled me in, and I think it's a brilliant plan, but I would have loved to see how it all went down. I was hanging out with some friends at the BCM and I wasn't able to get home and record it. And I won't be able to watch it tomorrow night either! :( I'm gonna see if I can set it to start recording at a specific time. I'll be sad if I can't watch it.

Other than that, I got all my books for my classes, I just have to go pick them up in the bookstore.

well, I have to leave for work in like 20 minutes, so I'm gonna do some other stuff before I leave.

good times, great oldies

hooray for hanging out with friends. I haven't done this in so long, and it feels amazing. I got to do a little shopping today, which is always fun. I had lunch with Caroline, mmm chinese. Then we spent 2 hours just meandering around the mall. I bought the biggest ring I've ever seen in my life for 1 dollars. it was great. Surprisingly, I actually like it.

I'm hanging out at the BCM. It's always a fun experience here. Caroline went to get pizza, so I'm waiting for her to come back and just updating my ipod a little. It's great fun! Anyway, I think that's all I have to say for now. I talked to Joe today, and I was right about him struggling. I don't know what's going on. Part of me says that there's something wrong because it feels like I'm always being the aggressor in our friendship, but something else is telling me that I shouldn't give up. I'm not really sure what to do.

That's all I got!

I will take comfort in knowing that You are near me

It feels so good to be back. I miss my family, but I love it here. It's already starting to feel like home. I got to hang out with Caroline yesterday, and it was so much fun! We went to Late Nite last night, and I got to see most everyone. A lot of people aren't coming back until Wednesday, but that's the day after tomorrow so I'm pretty excited. I finally finished unpacking, and I semi-organized. I made a list of things that I'm gonna need to pick up soon. It's weird to think that classes start on monday. Good thing I reserved my books. I'm not quite sure what my plans are for tomorrow. I need to turn in my vaccination form thing to the student health center. Except I can do that next week while I'm over by the financial aid office.

Late Nite was amazing. I love that it turned into an impromptu worship service. I knew that there was a reason I went. It was just the best feeling in the world. Definitely a feeling that I've missed.

After Late Nite, we headed to walmart. Which is always and adventure, but last night was especially fun because we hadn't done it in forever.

Today I spent most of the day finishing unpacking and putting everything away. Then I took a shower, and napped. It was pretty great. Now I'm just relaxing, and putting music on my ipod. Tomorrow I'm excited because we get to go shopping with someone else's money! Granted, we're buying stuff for the Live Cafe on Thursday, but it's shopping nonetheless. Right now I'm listening to How Great Thou Art by Elvis Presley. He was such a great singer, especially of gospel.

I am so happy to be back!

not enough exclamation points in the world!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

In less than 15 hours I will be in Tampa!!!!!!!

I can't even tell you how excited I am!!!

AH!!!!!!!!

I bet you can tell because of all the exclamation points.

But even that is misleading because there aren't enough exclamation points in the world!

Ha. How's that?

Everything is packed, except for the computer (obviously) and my ipod cord, because I'm charging it. Even though I won't be listening to it on the trip up. I'll be the only one with my mom in the suv, and it has satellite radio, so no need for ipod cuz no commercials!!!! (more exclamation points!) I'm glad that I get a little alone time with my mom on the way up. We haven't really had much alone time this summer. So this will be a good chance to just kind of catch up. Plus, I think next weekend or the weekend after that my family is coming up and we're going to go to the zoo and the aquarium. That sounds exciting! This week has been particularly hard for me, and I'm not sure why. I've been very emotional. I think it's the reality of leaving. Now I know how often I'll really see my family, not how often I'd like to see them. It's just hard, but I'm excited about going back. I'm worried about Joe, I feel like I need to make sure he's alright. I haven't heard from him in a while, which is odd if you know how often I had been hearing from him. I'm not sure how I'm going to handle this situation, so please just keep me in your prayers.

Search your heart, search your soul, and when you find me there you'll search no more

I'm procrastinating big time. And clearly, I have a thing for making words bold. Meh. My day should go something like this:

1. finish packing
2. shower
3. hang out with my brother
4. hang out with my sister
   

Right now it's going something like this:

1. play on the computer
2. blog
3. do nothing
4. listen to music
   

So yeah. As you can see, I'm doing a great job of getting things done < /sarcasm >

Oh well. I still have a while. I can't believe it's the day after tomorrow! I'm so excited! Ooh. I also need to do laundry today, I think. I might be able to get away with not doing it, since only like 3 things need to be washed. We'll see. I'm uber excited because I'll be up there like five days before my roommate. Definitely gives me time to get settled in. I've been drinking tea like crazy the past few days. It's better than soda, that's for sure! Plus, when I finish a glass of tea, I don't feel like my stomach is going to explode. So I guess that's good. Man, it's already noon. Time is going by really quickly today. Hopefully that's a sign of how it will go tomorrow. I just realized that last night was the last episode of Big Brother that I'll watch with my family. That's kind of saddening. I wonder if I'll have time to watch it now. I sure hope so. oh man! I won't be able to watch the eviction ceremony on Thursdays! AHHHH! I need to get TiVo. I'm wearing white pants and a white tank top, (my pjs) and they have cat hair all over them. Guess they need to be washed too. I suppose I should get up and around and start packing... Except I want to be lazy for a little while more. So I'm gonna go read the news. toodles!

I found some time to think about it and watched the sun sink like a stone I found some time to think about you on the long ride home

You know, reading back on my old posts, I realized something. For the most part, when I'm writing a post, the title is a random lyric or quote. Very seldom do I pick the title to go with the post. Yet, reading back, it seems that the titles quite often fit with the post, even though that's not what I intended. Pretty cool if you ask me.

I'm so excited. I can now officially say that the day after tomorrow, I will be moving! Time is moving so quickly, especially compared to a year ago. Last year it seemed like it was taking forever for the day to come. Now it's like "whoa!" I'll bet that you can't tell that I'm excited ;) Now it's coming down to crunch time, and I really need to finish my packing. I think I'll work on that tomorrow.

I think I'm losing weight. Not a lot, but I feel like my stomach has kinda gotten smaller. I'm nowhere near where I want to be, but it's a start!

Ahh, I can feel it. The calm before the storm. This week, and probably most of next, is probably going to be the calmest that I'll have in a while. I'm trying to take advantage of that, but I'm also excited about this coming semester. I love the rush of things. I believe that I work well under pressure. I'm excited about my classes, and church, and BCM, and friends!

I seriously can't believe how quickly the summer went by. It feels like just a few days ago that I was packing my stuff and leaving, and now I'm packing my stuff again and coming back.

This whole "growing up" thing is actually quite scary. I take comfort in the knowledge that my parents taught me a lot, and I can always ask for help when/if I need it. I also know that God is watching out for me. I take comfort in His arms.

You know, I never thought I'd be in this place. I never thought that I'd willingly give up control of my life. Especially to God. I'm continually in awe at how far I've come from who I was at this point last year. I remember the first conversation I had with the girl who was my soon to be roommate. She was actually at Ridgecrest the first time we spoke. I remember her telling me that church was a big part of her life, and I remember being disappointed that I hadn't gotten a roommate who would be my party buddy. I remember thinking when I met her that she was nice enough, but she was a church-y person. I'm ashamed of this now, but I actually spoke pretty badly about her to other people. If only I'd known what God had in store for me, I wonder if I would have felt the same way. I wonder if I would have believed it. I'm reminded of that now, as I speak to my soon to be roommate. Now it's I who am telling her that church is a big part of my life. It's I who am telling her that I don't party, or go out to clubs. I can't help but wonder if perhaps I'm meant to be to this girl what my last roommate was to me. I don't think she realizes how important she is to my life. I don't think I could ever explain it to her so that she could fully grasp it. She truly saved my life, and my soul. I can honestly say, knowing what I know now, that I never want to go back to that place. I never want to be that person. I don't want to feel so empty that I try to fill an unfillable void with alcohol and men. I would never wish that feeling on my worst enemy.

It's not so much that I want to kill her, it's just that I want her not to be alive, at all.

Hm. I think I may be too dramatic for my own good.
When I actually had a little time for it to sink in, it turns out I don't have any feelings about it at all.
That actually makes me very happy.

Hooray for me!

boys are stupid. end of conversation.

This is a weird feeling.
I'm not jealous.
I'm not upset.
But I'm not apathetic.
Why?
Gah. Boys are stupid.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
how do I get myself into these things? I don't even know how it got like this.
This isn't a friendship. Friendship is a two-person effort. This in no way is an effort on his part. He doesn't return my phone calls, he doesn't tell me important things in his life. How am I supposed to keep him accountable if I don't even know what's going on? I'm just super frustrated. It's like he has no consideration. I feel like there's a reason that we're friends, like somehow I'm supposed to help him. Except, I'm so frustrated that I don't know how I'm going to do that.

Grr. why are boys stupid?

I hate you, and I love you

Less than a week, and it's beginning to hit me that I won't see my family on a daily basis. I think it may be harder this time around. I don't know why, but I'm going to miss my family more this time, I think.

Now I have to start doing like hardcore packing. I've got a lot of stuff packed already, but now I have to pack almost everything. Including my clothes. It's hard because I keep going "what if I want to wear that" so I don't pack any of my clothes. Now I have no choice.

I'm actually pretty happy with the housing decision. I'm sure that there is a reason for the way things turned out.

Oh man. Big Brother was hilarious tonight. I don't feel bad for Erika for losing HOH. I don't think she deserved it. Besides, I don't like her. So whatever. I love that Janelle got HOH. The food competition was rather boring, in my opinion. I love the surprise power. I would love to see Will get it. I'm rooting for him, because he's playing so well. I would absolutely love it if Will told Janelle that James is in an alliance with Chill Town.

It's weird to think that this was the last Sunday I'll spend with my family for a while.

I've decided that I'm going to take a class at the gym, and go to the gym the other days that I'm not taking a fitness class. I'm getting at the point where I just feel kinda yucky some days. I think that will help me.

He is everything that we need

I know that everything happens for a reason. Nothing is coincidence, and there are no "accidents" when it comes to life. I know God has a reason for this, but heck if I know what it is. I can't help but be a little upset, even though I'm trying not to. I'm thankful that at least I got in, but I know that I could be more thankful.

I got my housing assignment today. Well, technically I haven't gotten it yet, but I know the building I'll be in and the room number. It's the one I was in last year, except the other building. Which means I'll have a roommate. This is not what I wanted. Apparently, what I wanted wasn't a factor. I was looking forward to living in an apartment, and most importantly having the privacy of my own room. I was told that I got one of the last rooms, and that every room on campus is full. I can go two weeks after school starts and find out who didn't show up and what rooms are available. I'm thinking about it, but there's a lot to weigh out. We'll call that scenario A. Scenario B would be just staying in the room that I was assigned. Let's look at the options:

Scenario A: cons: I basically can't unpack anything for three weeks, and it isn't even guaranteed that I'll get a room that I want. Pros: I could end up in an apartment with my own room.

Scenario B: cons: It's not what I want. I have a roommate. pros: I end up getting like 300 dollars back, because it's less for the room I have.

It's also kind of hard to ignore the fact that I didn't get the room I wanted. Which kinda shows me that maybe God has a reason for me being in that room, instead of in an apartment. I guess I just have to get over my own desires and see how this ends up. Maybe I'll get a really cool roommate like Courtney. Or maybe I won't. We'll see. I really am thankful though that I got in. Which means that this is my last full weekend at home. It's a little sad. At least I got a room. I am so excited about going back.

I hate my period.

I'm moody.
I feel like crying.
Guess we know what this means.
Yep. It's that time again. Why does this time of the month take all the energy I have? I have absolutely no idea. I also get this unavoidable urge to clean. I think I may be insane. I have no idea.
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
so I have a small rant. this woman wants a box of some stuff that I'm getting rid of. So I sent her directions and all, and asked her when she was coming. At 9:30 I received an email saying she was coming at 7:30. So she emailed me and said that she came and no one answered and there was nothing outside. well duh! I didn't know you were coming! grrrrr. I don't feel bad, though. Just a little irritated.
Moving on.
Joe hasn't called in like 2 days. I haven't spoken with him at all. I'm kinda bothered by this, and I don't know why.
again. it's that time of the month. maybe that's why? I'm not really sure.
maybe I'm just using it as an excuse.
I was highly disappointed with Big Brother tonight. I really have no feelings about Kaysar going home, except I'm kinda upset that James stayed. These people are stupid. They aren't playing the game. If they were smart they'd get rid of the best players. They deserve to lose. I'm disappointed that Erika got HOH. She does absolutely nothing. Grr. The only exciting thing is this coup d'etat or however you spell it. That sounds great! oh man and don't even get me going on this stupid "haunting" crap. It's possibly the dumbest thing I've ever seen on television.
I quit.

it's two bare feet on the dashboard, young love in an old ford, cheap shades and a tattoo and a yoohoo bottle on the floorboard

It's been a couple days since my last post.

There's a few updates.

I still have no housing assignment, so I don't know where I'll be living. I'm just hoping right now that I get my assignment before the 20th. I think I may have to force them to give me one. Right now I'm just praying that I don't have to do that.

I won't be able to pick up a few shifts that week. It's a little sad, but no big deal. Also, by the time we do start working again, we'll have a new boss.

I did get my hair cut! I love it! I think it's the best job that anyone has done on my hair in a long time. I have really long, thick hair. So it's kind of hard to find someone/somewhere that will do a good job.

More importantly, not only have I been packing, but I've also gone through all my boxes of stuff in my room and gotten rid of a lot. Thank God for freecycle. (there's a link to freecycle on the right. Check it out! It's a good way to get rid of stuff you don't want that someone else might be able to use or need and it doesn't go to the landfill!)

So it's coming down to the last week here. It's kind of bittersweet. I love my family, and I wish that I had done more with the time that I had with them. That's my fault, though, because I wasted it. So now I'm trying to make the best of the time that I have left. I've been spending a lot more time with my brother. My sister started school this week, so it's a little harder to spend time with her, but I'm managing as well as possible. I'll be leaving before her 17th birthday, that makes me a little sad. I know it makes her sad too. Man, I feel old. My baby sister is 17. Time is flying by.

Other than that, not much has been going on. Just trying to get everything packed ahead of time, so I don't feel rushed the last couple of days. I think that's all I've got to say, for now.

and all that I am is all that You see when nobody is looking at me

so I have absolutely awesome news!!!!

Instead of going back on the 23rd, I'll be going back on the 20th. I know it's only three days, but I'm so excited!!! That's three more days to hang out with my friends!!! I might actually pick up a few shifts, too, that way I have some money on the paycheck that comes out the next week. I'm so excited!!! God is just blessing me all over the place.

My best friend is in birmingham right now with her mom. I'm happy that she gets to spend some time with her mom, just the two of them. I called her to tell her the good news, but she must be busy. So I left a message! I never do that! ha! anyway. I'm in a great mood now. I'm definitely going to need to start packing like tomorrow, or this week. That way I know exactly what I need to get!

I might be going to get my hair cut today. I don't know yet. We'll see. I feel like I should start packing something. I look around and it's just so much stuff. I don't realize how much I really use, until I have to pack what I need to take with me.

Lue! I tried leaving you a message, but something happened and I couldn't. Congratulations on your promotion! And the interview! I'm praying for you, I know this will be a hard decision to make.

Truth is such a rare thing, it is delightful to tell it. ~Emily Dickinson

So I think it's time for a little honesty.
I think I could really like him.
I don't know where this is going.
I don't know where I want it to go, nor where it's supposed to go.
I look forward to his calls.
And emails.
I don't like him yet.
But I think I could.
I think it might be mutual.
I haven't quite figured it out.

Nothing I have compares to You

Oh man.

I'm so excited. I have a feeling that a majority of this weekend will be spent packing. I have 3 sundays left until I go back, and we're coming up on the first of those three. I don't really know what the "family" plans are this weekend. We were supposed to go to the zoo, and that was pretty exciting. Except my sister is starting school on monday, so my mom thinks that we need to relax this weekend. So I don't know what the plan is this weekend. I guess I'll just see how it goes. I do plan on getting a lot of packing done. I really need to.

Okay, so let me just rant for a minute. I can't believe that they made the World Trade Center movie. I think it's very tasteless. I watched an interview with the actors, producers, and the firefighters on whom the movie was based, and they claim that the movie was made to "maintain truth in history." Nicolas Cage said that in the future our kids are going to want to know the truth and people might forget. I highly doubt that's going to happen. I don't really know how I feel about it. It just bothers me.

I'm watching NUMB3RS. It's a really good show. I don't know why I don't watch it more often. Probably because I forget it's on tv. And once this is over, Simply Irresistable is on TBS. So that's exciting.

I talked to the school today. They received my housing application yesterday. It's going to take up to two weeks until I find out where I'm living. At least they got it and I'm living somewhere. That's pretty important.

Tom Everett Scott is pretty attractive.

I'm in an odd mood.

I realized something today. I can get pretty angry while driving. It's split-second anger, but it's anger nonetheless. I really need to work on that. I get upset at people that can't drive and I yell at them. Even though they can't hear me. It pretty much doesn't matter who's in the car with me. I do try to tone it down when one of my parents is in the car, but still. Anyway. Joe called, so I'm gonna talk to him. Maybe I'll post again in a little while. It's been a few days, I know.

Psalm 40:3 "He has put a new song in my mouth - Praise to our God; Many will see it and fear, and will trust in the Lord

In three weeks I get to go back. I'm really excited.

Except, the school website doesn't have books listed for the courses yet, so I don't know how much it's going to cost or what books I'm going to need. That's a little aggravating.

It's officially the 1st (still, I think) of August. That means that I can change my calendar over. My housing application got sent out today. Yes, I know it's late. Better late than never, eh? At least that's taken care of. Now I'll have somewhere to live! I'll call on friday to make sure they got it, and find out how long it's going to take to get my housing assignment.

Hmm. I'm trying to figure out what's new. Except, there's nothing really. I think tonight I might try going to sleep early and see how that affects what time I get up tomorrow.